tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54669996872451149292024-03-05T21:08:59.269+10:00Dreams of LewisA blog about diabetes, voldemort, and how many carbs are in *that* piece of chocolate cakeAshleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.comBlogger155125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-91698438451264042492018-02-10T21:59:00.001+10:002018-02-10T21:59:12.006+10:00Psych!The first time I saw a psychologist, a few years ago now, I left the aappointment feeling more hurt than when I hard started. When I was fresh and new to diabetes I had some anxiety over hypos, the adjustments I had to make to my daily routine and the constant worry that had fit itself into my handbag right next to the glucose tablets, taking itself everywhere that I did.<br />
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I was laughed at when I talked about my fear of hypos and the impact it had on my life. "My brother in law has Type 1 Diabetes" this psychologist said to me. "It's hilarious to watch someone having a hypo. The things they do are very funny to see".</div>
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The session was ended (there wasn't even a point in trying to fix that mess) and I never went back for another. An offer for a future appointment was declined.</div>
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For the next few years I was ok, I didn't have a need to visit any mental health practitioners. My anxiety was well controlled through techniques I had learnt years earlier at CBT sessions (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and the more hypos I had, the more I felt comfortable in my ability to deal with them. The fear that I wouldn't be able to treat them dissipated.</div>
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At the end of last year I reached out for help again. My anxiety was still well under control, but I had dealt with a lot and I knew that the way I felt - tired, uninterested in my usual activities (including writing!), sad, crying over silly little things, unmotivated, uncaring about myself and wanting to withdraw socially - was not my normal. </div>
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So I made an appointment with a GP, asked for a care plan, and found myself the name of a psychologist who I was told was much more understanding about diabetes. </div>
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I walked in with a huge knot in my stomach, terrified that my first session wouldn't work out. I left knowing I had found *the one*. The right psychologist for me.<br />
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Just as we have partners in life, I think we also need to have partners in health care. After all, some of our health professionals are walking a very intimate road with us. They know things about our bodies or minds that even our closest family and friends don't.<br />
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My new psychologist know Type 1. She shared that her daughter has type 1 - and my 'judgement' barrier immediately flipped down.<br />
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I have my next appointment this week. I'm looking forward to it almost as much as I am looking forward to seeing my DE (and I seriously love seeing my DE!).<br />
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I find it so much easier to care for me if I have the right team helping me to care for me.<br />
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So here's to self-care in 2018 - a better year than 2017.</div>
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Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-89220586256411584952018-01-16T19:11:00.002+10:002018-01-16T19:11:27.558+10:00FreshI thought I was ready to 'dip my toes' into life last year. I was wrong. I don't think this was a constructive thought for me, when in fact I actually needed to fall apart. Why did I think I had to push myself to start small when I didn't want to?<br />
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Last year was an awful year for me. There were so many things that were going on that I didn't have the clarity of mind to properly express or emotionally deal with.<br />
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I learnt that even events that people consider 'happy', can be quite stressful, emotionally draining and contribute to poor mental health and inability to cope with life in your usual way.<br />
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In no particular order, last year I: bought my first house with my husband (incurring a major mortgage), moved, experienced the deaths of loved ones in our immediate family, had significant job stability changes with multiple levels of adjustment, changed job roles, adopted a cat, experienced illness and changes to my usual health, and sought help for depression.<br />
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When you add these stressors to a chronic illness, things can spiral. Actually, those stressors on their own are enough, never mind my diabetes!<br />
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I can't say I coped well with all the changes in my life last year. I can't say that I was 'strong' and that I said and did the right things the whole time. I can't say I considered my diabetes in these situations and managed everything well. I can't say that I carried on despite everything.<br />
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Because I didn't. I let my life turn to shit. I wallowed in misery and a constant feeling of being insecure about the present moments I was living in and my future. There was so much for me to comprehend that I didn't know where to start. I tried a few times but the 'get up and go' attitude I usually rely on had gone walking.<br />
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I ended 2017 on my couch, miserably ill (an extra Christmas gift from my lovely nephew) and reflecting on all the hard, awful things that had happened. I started 2018 in my bed, miserably ill, and sound asleep. I didn't make a new years resolution. Instead I set some self care goals. I identified what I would like to do for myself. What could I do to make myself feel secure in my life again?<br />
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I am doing little things. In December I sought professional help for my mental health. Last week I bought a nice new work outfit and paid way more money than my cheap ass would normally part with. Then I wore that nice new work outfit and felt awesome. Today I am writing a blog, because depression stopped me from doing my usual favourite activities and GODDAMN, I MISS WRITING. I was wary about writing again. I first wanted to write a few weeks ago but didn't have the confidence in myself to know where to start, or to know that I could continue.<br />
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What would I write about? Would it be all doom and gloom? Well, I guess it sort of is today. Pen to paper (or fingers to keys) is how I have always expressed myself. So maybe I let the doom and gloom leach from my fingertips and become absorbed by the bright machine screen.<br />
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I can only do the things that I can do, no matter how slow that process is.<br />
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<br />Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-64509446232038656122017-08-24T21:55:00.001+10:002017-08-24T21:55:24.011+10:00End Life HiatusIt's been awhile.<br />
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I took a life Hiatus. A lot happened in a very short space of time for me and the best way to deal with it was to shut down, and do absolutely nothing with my life besides survive it. It was the best I could do at the time.<br />
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I removed as much outside distractions as I could. I just had to get through work, and get home each day. If it was a good day, make a meal. Feed the fish when I could remember that they existed (I'm sorry fishies!)<br />
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At the end of last week I decided to dip my toe back in to the space of being a functional human being again.<br />
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The housework is done little by little each day. The fish are fed regularly. I am back to exercising every 2nd day.<br />
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I did my first HbA1c since last year (shhhhh!)....and it wasn't the worst.<br />
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So I'm going to try to be back. And just cross my fingers that life stays stable so I can keep moving onward and upward.<br />
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I'll even try to get through the millions of fellow diabetes blog notifications that I have gotten, and catch up with other people's lives.<br />
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<br />Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-52649333849312017602017-05-17T22:28:00.002+10:002017-05-17T22:28:36.073+10:00Diabetes Blog Week Day 2 - The Cost of a Chronic Illness<br />
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<b style="background-color: white; color: #755a2a; font-family: "PT Sans"; font-size: 16px;">Click here for <a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=dblogweek&postid=13Apr2017a" style="color: #78ab46;" target="_blank">The Cost of a Chronic Illness - Tuesday 5/16</a> Link List</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #755a2a; font-family: "PT Sans"; font-size: 16px;">Insulin and other diabetes medications and supplies can be costly. Here in the US, insurance status and age (as in Medicare eligibility) can impact both the cost and coverage. So today, let’s discuss how cost impacts our diabetes care. Do you have advice to share? For those outside the US, is cost a concern? Are there other factors such as accessibility or education that cause barriers to your diabetes care? (This topic was inspired by suggestions from </span><a href="http://www.radiabetes.com/" style="background-color: white; color: #78ab46; font-family: "PT Sans"; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold;" target="_blank">Rick</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #755a2a; font-family: "PT Sans"; font-size: 16px;"> and </span><a href="https://seejendance.com/" style="background-color: white; color: #78ab46; font-family: "PT Sans"; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold;" target="_blank">Jen</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #755a2a; font-family: "PT Sans"; font-size: 16px;">.)</span><br />
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Budgets have definitely been on my mind lately. I just bought a house (I will stop talking about this soon, I swear!), and am now the proud owner of 30 years of debt. Saving for our house deposit was hard and required some cut backs. It didn't leave us a whole lot of wriggle room for frivolous expenses and I had to include my diabetes as a frivolity.<br />
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Where I could cut corners in diabetes expenses I did. Whilst not recommended, my sets averaged about 4 to 5 days instead of 3. I reused reservoirs until well after the writing had disappeared.<br />
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I cut back on the amount of blood sugar testing I was doing. My average went from around 10 tests a day, to between 3 to 5.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ui=2&ik=5163f006c2&view=fimg&th=15c165eede8035e5&attid=0.1&disp=inline&realattid=1567646191535499912-local0&safe=1&attbid=ANGjdJ9ZSU1E2aCIa7WA_s7WqnaplWlxnbFsc8hu9TumivQYl_yPo_0IJS00cLyVwT3xXk94vCSs9LAAHmA1b9W1ZZPcwsAj8IOSW0EKRg92xmJiKXs127U_dfTOsj4&ats=1495023952441&rm=15c165eede8035e5&zw&sz=w1600-h770" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Displaying DSC_0306.JPG" border="0" height="320" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ui=2&ik=5163f006c2&view=fimg&th=15c165eede8035e5&attid=0.1&disp=inline&realattid=1567646191535499912-local0&safe=1&attbid=ANGjdJ9ZSU1E2aCIa7WA_s7WqnaplWlxnbFsc8hu9TumivQYl_yPo_0IJS00cLyVwT3xXk94vCSs9LAAHmA1b9W1ZZPcwsAj8IOSW0EKRg92xmJiKXs127U_dfTOsj4&ats=1495023952441&rm=15c165eede8035e5&zw&sz=w1600-h770" style="text-align: center;" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">$170 - a pretty normal chemist bill for a T1D on an insulin pump - This was for NDSS supplies only, no extras</td></tr>
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<br />I rationed 8 boxes of CGM over one and a half years (I'm now on my final box from a subscription I started in January 2016). Now that I actually have to pay back a mortgage, CGM is out. Luckily, my my mum helps with that cost, but I can no longer afford a subscription. I have calculated that I will be able to get 3 boxes over the course of 12 months, that I will mostly use for when I go away for work, as I am hypo unaware at night. I will have to start setting alarms for sleep, and just deal with being tired at work.<br />
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The consequence has been worsening glycaemic control. In the world of diabetes, money can make looking after yourself a whole lot easier. I went from A1C's in the perfect range, to the 'average to sub-optimal' range. I dream of the day when I will have good control again, but that requires tools I can't really afford right now. Maybe when I'm retired.<br />
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Things aren't about to get any cheaper. Private health insurance prices and private doctors fees rise every year. There are talks of a sugar tax - for me that will be yet another increased expense, and probably result in further worsening glycaemic control if I have to try and increase my BGLs to not have to pay for the luxury of treating a hypo. I have severe gastrointestinal intolerances to jellybeans and lollies - and can only have juice or soft drinks to treat my hypos. I can stomach glucose tabs - but these cost an arm and a leg to get into Australia.<br />
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Its hard enough as a young person trying to become independent, own a home and even consider raising a family, without adding the expense of a disease like diabetes on top. Most people my age are struggling, and they don't even have an insulin habit to support. If I said a future with diabetes, expense-wise, didn't scare me - I would be lying.<br />
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<br />Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-9139992834132985452017-05-17T21:33:00.001+10:002017-05-17T21:33:53.919+10:00Diabetes Blog Week Day One - Diabetes and The Unexpected<span style="font-family: "pt sans";"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>I can't believe it's Diabetes blog week again. Where did that year go? </b></span></span><br />
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<b style="background-color: white; color: #755a2a; font-family: "PT Sans"; font-size: 16px;">Click here for the <a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=dblogweek&postid=13Apr2017" style="color: #78ab46;" target="_blank">Diabetes and The Unexpected - Monday</a> 5/15 Link List</b><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #755a2a; font-family: "pt sans"; font-size: 16px;">Diabetes can sometimes seem to play by a rulebook that makes no sense, tossing out unexpected challenges at random. What are your best tips for being prepared when the unexpected happens? Or, take this topic another way and tell us about some good things diabetes has brought into your, or your loved one’s, life that you never could have expected? (Thank you, </span><a href="http://jazzyted.blogspot.co.uk/" style="background-color: white; color: #78ab46; font-family: "PT Sans"; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold;" target="_blank">Heather</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #755a2a; font-family: "pt sans"; font-size: 16px;">, for inspiring this topic!)</span><br />
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The way that I understand Morty (my diabetes), in the little personality that I have given him, is that his life motto is 'Expect the Unexpected'. Which is actually just a life motto, really. What does go according to plan in life?<br />
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I don't know if you can ever truly make diabetes bend to your will and become predictable. Even if I do the same thing everyday, there are still slight differences that can change the course of my day and diabetes. Some days there are only slight varients and my usual diabetes routine works for 90% of the day. Some days I have no idea which way is up and which way is down and diabetes comes along for the ride, and I take it as it comes.<br />
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I moved house last week. There were lots of unexpected things to come out of that. I didn't expect to be standing at my front door at 5pm in the afternoon, yelling obscenities and in a flood of tears because I couldn't figure out my new locks for a solid 10 minutes. I didn't think that shoulder barging the door would work to finally get in, but it did - and 20 points to Hufflepuff for not actually breaking the door at all when I did that. I wasn't really counting on inheriting 3 goldfish that the previous owners just kind of left for us to inherit (at least they left the fish food?!). I didn't account for how busy I was at work, and not being home until nearly 10pm each night for various reasons, and how that might affect my eating patterns. I didn't plan to lose all my diabetes supplies in the multitude of boxes in my garage, and not having any spare sets to change out to.<br />
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All part of the fun of moving on in life, and just going with the flow and dealing with things as they happen. The locks? We talked about which order we will lock them in so I can get into the house every day. The Goldfish? I'll keep feeding them until they die. Its not hurting me to keep them, so I guess I have Harry, Ron and Hermione now. In getting home late each night, to an unpacked house, I have just had to adapt to eating the best I can on the run. Diabetes supplies? Thankfully, I know other diabetics who have come to my rescue, then made it my mission to find and unpack that box first.<br />
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I don't really know if I can prepare for anything unexpected - I just make sure I know the processes for dealing with it. The unexpected high of 30 last week that came when my set stopped working after lifting boxes was dealt with quickly by injection until I could find a new set to change out to. Even if I dont have a spare set, I always have a pen and needle tips. I always have a juice, and I always have my glucometer and strips. Those 4 things mean I can deal with anything that comes my way.<br />
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<br />Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-55401416180903883372017-05-08T22:33:00.002+10:002017-05-08T22:43:04.823+10:00The Diabetics First Home Owners Guide<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">A step-by-step guide to owning your first home, despite the crippling debt that diabetes forces upon you</span></b></div>
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<li style="text-align: left;"><b>Save all the money. Coles brand jellybeans are now your best friends (even if they cause some weird digestion issues), and its time to get comfy with the fact that your pump reservoirs are reusable almost indefinitely. Seriously those babies are still good even after the writing has worn off. </b></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><b>Being poor means you have a lot of time to not do fun things that make you happy and relieve stress, unless all your friends happen to love sitting on your couch and binge-watching old Buffy episodes as much as you do. Take advantage of this joyless time in your life and find first-home inspiration. View display villages, open homes and auctions.* Don't forget to take plenty of hypo treatment because you will walk far more than you realise, and try to do this in winter, not summer. Temporary basal rates are your best friend at display villages.</b></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><b>You have scrimped and saved and now there's a small but sizable number that has you nervously checking your bank security every day and interrogating your partner on why they used the account to buy chocolate (it turns out its actually your chocolate that you needed to not fall into a pit of despair - Hey, that's years worth of savings and bad Coles Jellybeans right there!). You probably didn't make the 20% recommended deposit but is that even possible these days? A good mortgage broker can still find a way to make it work with some obscure sounding bank that will allow you to purchase the <strike>house of your dreams</strike> a house that you are vaguely comfortable living in.</b></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><b>Its time to get serious about finding your new home. Expect kitchens to feature prominently in your dreams. Pro Tip: put chocolate bars in your glove box. These will come in handy at around midday when you feel sad about all the houses you have looked at that are not really 'you' and are still somehow out of your price range. Don't talk to other people at the open houses. They are all baby boomers who paid off their first homes in 7 years back when homes were affordable and are purchasing their 12th investment home.</b></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><b>Congratulations! You found a house. Total land size is probably less than 400m2 and at least an hours drive from your place of work, but you can hammer nails in the walls wherever you want and no-one can tell you how clean to keep your venetian blinds. Now to start the extremely tedious process of submitting your offer and waiting for it to be accepted. Expect lots of blood sugar changes. Good diabetes care is waking up alive for the next month until settlement date.</b></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><b>Your offer has been accepted and you played hardball right back to the sellers real estate which was very difficult on your BGLs. Time to relax for 5 seconds, and then start packing. Everything causes a low BGL right now and the closer to settlement date you get, the worse your diet might be. Pizza and the 6 hour later blood sugar spike is a given the night before moving. Everything's packed and you are too physically and mentally exhausted to make a real dinner.</b></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><b>Settlement day will probably look something like this: waiting for settlement to happen = Anxiety, high BGL, feel sick. Moment you hear settlement was a success = sudden drop from BGl of 22 to 3 in 15 minutes flat. Much whooping and air punches. Try not to drive hypo to collect your new house keys, no matter how excited you are. </b><b>Its a good idea to know where your new property is actually located and at least have enough battery to navigate you there if you don't. ** </b></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><b>Time to move! Today you will want emergency hypo treatment everywhere. Stash it in your car, your bathroom cabinet, the pockets of everyone helping you move, anywhere and everywhere that you might go. Look forward to your final night of take-out and the chance to get back into regular routine again.</b></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><b>You report to the bank for the next 30 years of your life. Try not to die of anything remotely related to your diabetes in this time, because that leaves your partner in a bad position financially. Its a good time to make an agreement that if you die, your partner should make your death look as non-diabetic as possible, so that your insurance will pay out. Yeah, there's that lovely bit of discrimination we get to go up against. </b></li>
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<b><span style="font-size: x-small;">*You probably went to all the nice, big display homes with awesome upgrades and inclusions or the open homes in nice neighborhoods. You can't afford these and diabetes. Lower your standards or get rid of your disease. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: x-small;">**Yes, I did pick up my keys, forget where my new house was and not have enough phone battery to navigate me there. I did follow the signs back to the city so I could pick up my husband who is much, much better at directions, so its ok, I didnt die in the wilderness of my new suburb. </span></b></div>
Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-11820755080766677252017-04-22T22:32:00.002+10:002017-04-22T22:32:36.400+10:00SoundDo you ever have those dreams in the middle of a dead quiet night, that you're falling, and you die? And you think that its real, that maybe you died. You wake up and try to determine if you're in some kind of in-between place, where everything around you seems too calm and still so your sleep addled brain tells you that your gone. Then you hear a dog bark, or a siren, or a terrifying Darth Vader possum hiss and you know they're the sounds of being alive.<br />
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My life has another soundtrack that helps to remind me I'm alive. I play it on repeat every day; so constant that I almost know the lyrics. It starts with a mechanical click of springs sliding and locking into place, followed instantly with a dulled thud. Then begins a silent 5 second countdown that might continue on in silence, or end in 2 digital beeps. Silence is good. Beeping is bad. If I beep, even my husband knows what that means - that my day has not started well. Beeps are either followed by angry swearing (and my husband knows he can get a few more minutes of shut eye), or clumsy rustling in my bedside drawer, the slight hiss of air as a foil seal is punctured and loud gulping and breathing noises as I smash down a juice to treat a low. I don't really hear any of these though. If I am low then my aural senses become dull and disconnected, replaced by a ringing that I can't stop.<br />
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The pattern repeats itself, over and over throughout the day. The click of the lancet, the silence or beeps of the glucometer.<br />
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My pump plays a different tune to add to my diabetes medley. "Pah-tunk", "pah-tunk". This is the sound I recognise as an interaction between myself and King. Pah-tunk to select bolus. Pah-tunk to unlock. Quiet ticking as a bolus is delivered. I have silenced King, annoyed with his constant chatter. Still he communicates what he needs. The vibrations are audible against my skin, against my mattress, or against thin air. When I am connected to CGM, and in danger, he screams. I cannot ignore the shrill, piercing cry that King makes to alert me to an unresolved low at 2am.<br />
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Every 3 days Kings' continuing song is punctuated with a change in rhythm. I add in the clinking of a pencil against a new reservoir to get rid of the air bubbles. The whirring of King's motor as it rewinds. The steady beeping King makes to indicate that insulin is filling a new set line. A pop as the new set is pressed and inserted into my skin. If I am lucky enough, a click of my CGM transmitter sliding onto a new sensor.<br />
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These are the sounds that let me know I have life, and am lucky enough to afford to live it.<br />
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<br />Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-24593638596414091392017-04-13T22:06:00.000+10:002017-04-13T22:06:08.737+10:00Life in the Sensitive LaneIn the diabetes world there is a lot of focus on insulin sensitivity factors.<div>
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Insulin sensitivity is how much insulin your body needs to effectively convert your carbs into energy and keep your blood sugar in check. When someone is said to be insulin resistant, their body is needing to use too much insulin to get the job done. When they are sensitive they require less insulin.<br /><div>
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It's better to be insulin sensitive. If you google insulin sensitivity there are dozens of articles telling people how to increase their insulin sensitivity and reduce insulin resistance. There are medications that can be used to help patients who are insulin resistant to lower there sensitivity. Exercise is known to increase sensitivity. There are things you can do.</div>
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If you're like me, there are no articles or words of advice. I am insulin sensitive. My doctors congratulate me on this, but are always scratching their heads in confusion as to what I can do when I go through episode after episode of unprovoked hypoglycemia.</div>
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At present, some of my basal rates sit at Zero. Zero Point Nothing. From 1pm through until 5pm everyday I receive NO insulin through my pump. King sits on my hip merely for decorative purposes (and so I dont forget to reattach later). </div>
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I eat my lunch at 12.30pm and don't give insulin for that either. About 2 days out of every 5 I still find that I can go low mid-afternoon. With no insulin on board. No insulin via basal. Frustratingly, I cannot go into negative insulin. All I can do is eat something which feels unnecessary and only serves to put on any weight I might lose through good exercise routine. Being insulin sensitive means that I find it very difficult to maintain exercise habits, as often I have to consume vast amounts of food to even attempt exercise. 3 days ago I had to eat 200gm of carb to exercise. 90 before, 30 during and 80 following exercise. All on no insulin. My blood sugar was on 4.3 1 hour before exercise rose to 7 after eating..and eating...and fury-drinking some sprite, before dropping back to 3 15 minutes into my walk (oh, so strenuous) and finally settling on 4 after the forced post-exercise meal.</div>
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There are no answers for cases like mine. Being LADA, I may still be producing my own residual insulin. It seems unlikely given how quickly my blood sugar can rise if I do get my carb counts wrong at other times of the day, but its possible. </div>
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The suggestion has been to try exercising early in the morning. I start work at 7.30am though, so I am not inclined to get up at 5.30am for a run. I am not a morning person. A nice morning lie-in is not yet another something I am willing to give up for diabetes.</div>
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Insulin Sensitivity is over-rated.</div>
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Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-40481065933047400322017-04-05T21:06:00.002+10:002017-04-05T21:43:48.991+10:00Rain Dance<div>
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I grew up as a child of the country. I knew geography not by lines on a map but by which rolling green hill. creek or clump of trees signified the end of our family properties in the Tweed Valley. My mum owned 5 acres near Murwillumbah and my dad lived on 25 acres of family land in Piggabeen.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheMyHWkAqKTh9GRaZzlOzkiioF41MBkCsb8jXcK5UouopWL6qN60EQq29hM58wffBo72zxSevFAIqrakjYxozNHxbm4AdTXum8oP5zTeaUMa8SlW5pnTlGFSBsAJWzr3aZj0A4VeF3l1_P/s1600/Piggabeen+Hall.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="221" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheMyHWkAqKTh9GRaZzlOzkiioF41MBkCsb8jXcK5UouopWL6qN60EQq29hM58wffBo72zxSevFAIqrakjYxozNHxbm4AdTXum8oP5zTeaUMa8SlW5pnTlGFSBsAJWzr3aZj0A4VeF3l1_P/s400/Piggabeen+Hall.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Piggabeen Hall, down the road from our property</td></tr>
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Living rurally and away from town centers meant we relied on tanks for a lot of our water needs which meant we had to be conservative with our water use, especially at the Piggabeen property. Cleaning off after a day of playing in mud, scrambling up trees, sitting in old rusted out tanks and traipsing through chin-high grasses was sometimes a challenge. There was a bath in the house, but we were limited to a few small centimeters of water in the bottom of the tub, barely enough to cover our toes. If we remembered early enough, we could have showers which we would do as quickly as possible because the hot water timer was set to 2 minutes of warm water before becoming freezing cold. Showers could only be taken during the day, because the shower and toilet were in an outhouse which had no lighting and was shared by cane toads at night. </div>
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When storm and rain events happened we took full advantage of the pouring water, running around the yard with a bar of soap to enjoy a shower that lasted more than 2 minutes, and getting equally as dirty in the mud as we did clean in the rain. <br />
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In a really good storm, there was a dividing ditch that went from the start of the 500m long driveway and past our house. It had been dug to keep cattle and other animals from getting into the farmhouse (except horses, somehow they figured out the small footbridge and were always getting into the yard, or even the house). The ditch ran off into a creek behind the farm house. As kids, it was the best idea to go as far up the driveway as possible, get into the flooded ditch and ride the current until we got to the house, then hop out and do it again. It was not at all hygienic and we'd often be riding through the water next to cow patties, rotting wood and other unknown items. We just knew we had to scrub really hard in the bath afterwards. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzYTBxLwhH2YKXav75MaHuHmC8MD1nlE0jtLuNgMFnum9Zw9G_OXj_vZIIPVk7Wbh9PkPZe-tSNYmirN23Vdek9BL1C2B7fK8vP1EJ7py41OTyNf0Lv1THMM2i78um441s9elgObiw6acM/s1600/Piggabeen+Rd.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzYTBxLwhH2YKXav75MaHuHmC8MD1nlE0jtLuNgMFnum9Zw9G_OXj_vZIIPVk7Wbh9PkPZe-tSNYmirN23Vdek9BL1C2B7fK8vP1EJ7py41OTyNf0Lv1THMM2i78um441s9elgObiw6acM/s640/Piggabeen+Rd.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The driveway into our property. The tree line at the far back is where Piggabeen Creek ran.</td></tr>
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<br />Storms and flooding were usually a fun adventure. The tanks would fill up and we could drink water from cups that we left out to collect the rainwater, which tasted way better than the metallic tasting water that came out of the tanks.<br />
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On the flip side, we understood well that too much water could be dangerous. The usually calm creek behind the house would rise and flow heavily and fast, out towards the Tweed River. Riding the ditch could become very dangerous if you didn't get out in time and ended up in the creek.<br />
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My mums property was on the outskirts of Murwillumbah and roads could flood quickly, cutting us off for a few days, unable to go to school - which as kids, was awesome. The house itself was never in any danger - it was on high ground. Mum was always prepared, and if she thought we might be cut off for a few days she would fill up all the containers and the bathtub so we would have enough water. She grew her own vegies and fruit and made her own bread so we didn't have to worry about food so much. Helicopter drops were also a good back-up option.<br />
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My grandparents still live in Murwillumbah. They live on high enough ground that they were able to stay in their homes over the last week when many others were evacuated.<br />
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The importance of being prepared and having a plan is something I learnt on the land. It can't account for all situations but it can help.<br />
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Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-32334172229242609182017-03-21T22:36:00.000+10:002017-03-21T22:36:03.035+10:00JapanDia<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">A month ago my husband and I celebrated 10 years of getting in each others personal space bubbles, mashing our lips into each others faces, and not making decisions about what we want for dinner together. To celebrate, we booked some of those crazy Jetstar return free travel deals to Sapporo in Japan in February.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">We left Brisbane with temperatures of 37</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 16px;">°, and arrived to temperatures in Hokkaido of -7</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">°. </span><span style="background-color: white;">Cold weather and a 40</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 16px;">°</span><span style="background-color: white;"> temperature swing was a very welcome change. Last time we were in Japan it was so hot that my insulin was only lasting a day and a half before expiring. No such issues this time. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">It was such a different travel experience to what I had had before. Sapporo was absolutely covered in snow (It is in contention with a few other places for snowiest city in the world), at points being built up at least a metre taller than my husband and I. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Naturally, once again I had to smuggle diabetes and all of its luggage into my carry-on. I must be getting better at controlling my uninvited travel companion though, because I barely heard a peep from my diabetes in the week I was away. Even on that day that we went to Odori Bisse Sweets and I ate 2 desserts before dinner, then dinner, then dessert again (which you can read about on my travel blog at: </span><span style="background-color: white;">http://tonyobyointokyo.blogspot.com.au/). </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Of course there were some small blips. Thankfully, unlike in Europe, Japan doesn't believe in trying to sell sugar-free soft-drink alternatives, so not only did I only have to consume a small amount of a soft-drink to treat my hypos, but hypo treatment was blissfully easy to find.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">The Japanese have a slight obsession with making food accessible (you cannot walk more than 200m without coming across a mini-mart stocked with delicious goodies). On one particular night, we went to the Sapporo Beer Museum for dinner when just after arriving, as we were standing in the freezing cold, I was alerted to a hypo by my pump. I could see that there was a long line into the beer museum (and therefore to any possible food inside). Immediately my eyes fell on a quiet bus stop across the road. Nearly buried in the snow was my shining beacon of hope. A vending machine. With an endearing exclamation of 'F***ing Japan' and 100Y later, I was guzzling a freezing cold soft drink. The temperature of the bottle made my lips numb and my throat ache as I swallowed the frigid liquid but at least I had hypo treatment.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Later on once we were inside the beer factory we found a beer marketed towards diabetics. Beer is remarkably cheap in Japan, so yea, </span><span style="background-color: white;">that beer is 200Y - roughly $2. You can get full alcoholic beer at their mini-marts (like our 7-11's) for about $1AUD. </span><br />
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The day after visiting the beer factory I discovered an unexpected plus to having diabetes in Japan. The very last picture on this 'reserved seating' sign on our tram was described as being for people with 'internal organ failures'. If my Type 1 isn't an internal organ failure, I'm not sure what is. So at the very least, if I really wanted to, I could get a seat on crowded public transport (although I would never use it, it was interesting to see).<br />
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There were a few learnings in taking diabetes into such a cold climate. Like how hard it is to calibrate when wearing so many layers. Sometimes the CGM had trouble talking to my pump through my 5 + layers. I usually need more insulin in winter in Australia, but because I used so much more energy to walk in my copious amounts, it all sort of evened out and I barely even had to put on reduced basals.<br />
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Having CGM with the suspend before low feature was an absolute gosh-send. Usually my pump was hidden well within my clothes, so I just sort of had to rely on the CGM and pump to make a few executive decisions about my diabetes management for me. Something about punching holes in my fingers in<span style="font-size: 12.8px;"> </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #222222; font-size: 16px;">-7</span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">° temps didn't make me feel all that enthusiastic about finger-pricking.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">_________________________________________________________________________________</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Reasons why I'm hypo:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Its the exact opposite right now. After having an AMAZING week BGL wise, I had my first hypo of the week, unclipped my pump, and forgot to clip it back up. 6 hours, dinner and dessert later....all without insulin....my meter is not a happy chappy. Neither am I. #diabetes fail</span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-28210910947259250552017-02-28T22:28:00.001+10:002017-02-28T22:28:44.537+10:00No Pumps On BoardI don't know if I would call myself a regular airport attendee, but between work and spending money that my bank would rather I didn't on holidays, I have developed a well-versed diabetes travel routine. It doesn't give me optimal control all the time, but I do the best I can. Travel days are always going to be something that throws me, because they throw my body out. Different wake and sleep times, less activity, more sitting and the food routine and diet changes wreck havoc on my best-laid plans.<br />
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Travel with a medical condition like diabetes can be scary, exhausting, busy and burdening. Plane journeys are uncomfortable enough without the added feelings of a low or high blood sugar or having airport security fussing over your medical condition.<br />
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Before any travel (especially international), I always make sure I am well-stocked with supplies and that they are packed in an easy to reach place on my onboard luggage. I never put any diabetes supplies below in checked luggage because I can't guarantee I will get my bag on the other side or that nothing will happen to my bag (such as sudden temperature changes or rough handling). If I'm travelling international I split my supplies between my husband and myself. I take about 30% more supplies than what I need as a precaution. Last time we went to Japan (In 2013) that 30% extra insulin probably saved me a trip to a pharmacy to get more bottles of life because the heat in Japan was causing my insulin to expire every 1.5 days.<br />
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I bought some of those packing cubes a while ago, and I found that the smaller ones are perfect to put all my supplies in. It makes it super easy at security and on the plane/travelling around if everything you need is in one spot.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">NO PUMPS ON BOARD: Saw this on my recent flight to Sapporo on the flight safety card. The 'not permitted' symbol seems to include an insulin pump. ???</td></tr>
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<br />As well as supplies, my number one recommended thing to take with me is my scripts and a letter from my doctor, explaining what each item that I carry is and what it is used for. I also make sure the doctor's note explains why my pump cant go through any screening such as MRI, CT or X-Ray. I have used this letter in Japan every time without fail as Insulin pumps are not common in Japan. In Sapporo, they were insistent that I turn my back-up pump on to make sure it wasn't an explosive device. I had to unscrew the battery compartment to show them that it wasn't possible for me to turn it on, if there was nothing to power it and then they ran the bomb swab over the pump which was fine. In Cairns I whipped out my trusty letter to avoid the full body scanner, which I went through last time by removing my pump, but was not possible this time because of the newly inserted CGM taped securely to my arm.<br />
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I don't usually display my pump, and will normally hide it underneath my jumper, to avoid unnecessary questions from security. The few times that I have had it out, it has caused issues. Luckily, my Medtronic pump does not set off the metal detectors, so hiding the pump beneath my clothes is easy.<br />
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For domestic flights, I can take juice or other liquids through security, but for International, I try to stock up on glucose tabs in case of a hypo in the security line. I always buy a sugary drink once through security, but in some countries like Indonesia, they actually make you throw out any liquids before you can board the plane, so anything purchased after clearing security is a waste.<br />
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At take-off and landing, I disconnect my pump, otherwise changes in air pressure push extra insulin through my cannula and I get very low, very fast.<br />
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Most recently, I have been disobeying the rules regarding transmitter devices on planes, and have kept my CGM on during all my flights for the past year (over 20 flights). The plane hasn't crashed, or lost its course, and my pump hasn't exploded. Its made flying so much easier, especially on long-haul flights, where my husband can now just check my pump to see what my BGLs are doing instead of waking me up. I can also see any problems I am having and fix them up far quicker than if I had the CGM turned off and was only doing manual checks once every 2 or 3 hours. Especially when landing, I can see if I need to have some sugar to avoid a baggage claim low.<br />
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All of these preparations means that the biggest issue I have with travelling with diabetes, is that I have diabetes. Today, for example, <span style="font-family: "times new roman";">I got on a plane to Sydney at 9am in the morning. Then I got on the return flight home at 3pm in the afternoon. One flight went well for my diabetes, one flight did not. I did the same thing on both flights. The morning flight went well because I had been able to follow a similar routine to my normal day. I ate breakfast, got on the morning flight (when I would normally be sitting at my desk) and BGLs tracked between 4 - 6. The afternoon flight did not go so well because I had missed my 20 minute lunchtime walk, missed morning tea, delayed lunch by 2 hours, and eaten different food to normal for lunch. If only I could have left diabetes at home by itself for the day.</span><br />
<br />Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-34859671991977208002017-02-07T23:07:00.002+10:002017-02-07T23:07:56.635+10:00Position Vacant<div style="text-align: center;">
SCENE ONE</div>
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<i>ASHLEIGH staggers into an over-bright boardroom in a workplace office. Furnished with a long board table, and many wheel-footed office chairs. Ashleigh flops into a chair at the far-end of the table. She is sucking on a straw plunged through a juice popper. 'B'sits beside Ashleigh. 12 OTHER COLLEAGUES take seats around the room.</i></div>
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ALL (singing): </div>
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Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you. </div>
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Happy birthday dear colleague, happy birthday to you.</div>
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<i>Ashleigh waits until the singing has stopped and lowers her forehead to the table.</i></div>
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COLLEAGUE 1 (to Ashleigh):</div>
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Are you alright?</div>
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COLLEAGUE 2:</div>
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Are you sick? What happened? Are you ok?</div>
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COLLEAGUE 3:</div>
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Oh yeah, you don't look too good. Are you right?</div>
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<i>Colleagues continue firing questions. Ashleigh makes vague grumbling noises, raises her juice and makes shooing motions with her hands.</i><br />
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B:</div>
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She's fine. Just leave her alone. She's just having a</div>
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low blood sugar.</div>
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COLLEAGUE 3:</div>
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Do you need us to get you anything?</div>
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COLLEAGUE 1:</div>
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Ohhhh, I'll get the Glucagon! Can I give you a shot?</div>
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B:</div>
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She's got her juice. She'll be fine. Just give her a few minutes.</div>
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COLLEAGUE 1:</div>
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Why can't we use the Glucagon?</div>
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ASHLEIGH (with some energy now):</div>
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I have a juice. I just need quiet for a few minutes. You can't use </div>
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the Glucagon unless its an emergency; only if I'm unconscious or </div>
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can't have sugar. </div>
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END SCENE</div>
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When you have a self-management heavy disease like diabetes its important that you have a few people around you like S who are on your side in your day to day life. There's a lot to diabetes.<br />
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It takes a lot of time, energy and effort to train a Diabetes side kick. You work at educating them over many months, maybe even years. Slowly feeding information through small conversations or simple statements. Whether you mean to or not with these people, you create a relationship with them that involves some amount of diabetes knowledge download.<br />
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So I have people. I have friends who I knew before I was diagnosed, who picked it up as we went along. I have family who I expect a lot of. I have diabuddies who I don't need to explain at all to. I have a work colleague. Change that to had, because S will be finishing up her job with my workplace at the end of this week.<br />
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I have to start fending for myself again at work. Its helpful having someone who knows your diabetes in situations like the birthday cake hypo debacle. (Which continued on past the initial hypo. I had people asking me days later if I was 'feeling better yet' which really confused me because I didn't remember taking any sick leave or feeling ill. I had to be reminded of 'the other day in the boardroom at morning tea'.)<br />
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Its impossible to spread the knowledge among too many people, so if you can have one or two people that know enough about what is an emergency, what a hypo is and when everyone else should leave you alone and stop talking, then you're doing alright.<br />
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Goodbye to my work diabetes look-out. I'll never train another quite like you. Thank you for never talking to me when I'm hypo. not stabbing me unnecessarily with the Glucagon, not judging, bothering to listen to my diabetes natter, and all the jaunts down the road to stock up on juice when I ran out.<br />
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Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-811112385586902272017-01-30T23:08:00.001+10:002017-01-30T23:08:33.803+10:00PoGoWhat did I do in 2016 when I was ignoring my diabetic self?<br />
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A lot of exercise.<br />
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Pokemon Go was where it was at (ok, its still where I'm at, at least until I find the last 3 non-regional monsters I need to complete my PokeDex collection). I did a lot of walking in the latter half of 2016 trying to hatch distance-based pokemon eggs and find new Pokemons.<br />
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It helped to have something to concentrate on as I walked. I have always found exercise to be mind-numbingly boring. Or it made me anxious. PoGo took care of both the boring and the anxiety. I was able to forget how nervous exercise made me (thanks for that, diabetes) when I was concentrating on catching little monsters.<br />
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I started off small. I have always walked during my lunch hour, so I increased my single block to 2 or 3 blocks (had to try to get as many PokeStops as possible). Then I started off walking 4km in the afternoon after work, then worked on getting my time down as I got better at catching monsters and not tripping over my own feet. When I had gotten my time down, I added more distance and found a 6km route to walk.<br />
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I kept going and as my PokeDex got fuller, I got fitter. My 6km route morphed back into a 4km route when I found an exercise park that I could stop off at and complete a few sets of muscle based exercises. I upped my reps. I stopped catching as much Pokemon and my exercise time ballooned out from around 50 minutes a day to around an hour and a half on weekdays, and over 2 hours per day on weekends.<br />
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On weekends I vary my exercise a bit more. I might go for a bike ride, or a longer walk for a few hours. Sundays are Springwood Conservation Park Day, where my husband and I go to do laps. There's a very steep set of stairs followed by a 1.5km circuit that I jog 3 times. The stairs are an absolute killer and going up them 3 times is more than enough to give me the lovely 'going to puke my guts up' feeling that you really want when you're trying to run.<br />
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I recently started adding jogging to the mix. At first I was breathless after 100m, but I can now run nearly 2km before I need to stop and walk for 30 seconds before starting up jogging again. Every day I push myself to jog further, even if its just a few meters past where I made it to the day before. The only problem with that is, I cant PoGo and jog very well. So I am just turning on the app and then sticking it in my bag while I jog, so that at least I'm walking my Buddy Pokemon and hatching distance-based eggs.<br />
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The plan is to eventually be runnning the full 6km while still adding a stop-off to the exercise park. Or maybe getting a 4th lap of the Springwood Stairs in before I get the shaky 'about to vomit everywehere' feels.<br />
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Not everyone understood the appeal of PoGo, but for me its managed to keep me interested and pushing myself to get fitter for over 6 months now. Slowly, but at least I'm getting there, and for the first time in my life I'm actually enjoying exercise. So theres a plus. To everyone who complained that there were too many young people out walking their phones, there's a plus.<br />
<br />Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-58898007661064612462017-01-23T21:22:00.002+10:002017-01-23T21:22:44.312+10:00I think I had Diabetes in 2016I think I had diabetes in 2016. I know there were nights that I didn't sleep and days where I slept too much because my blood sugar didn't really do what I had planned for it that day. There were finger-pricks and site changes and pump battery changes. There was blood and insulin and sticky-leftover residue from CGM tape. Diabetes was there. I'm sure of it. I can't tell you what my last A1c is, not because I don't want to, but because I don't remember. If it was better or worse than the one before that, I have no idea. But I am vaguely aware that at a few points along the year I let someone siphon some blood out of my arm to produce some readings that I paid no attention to.<br />
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I lost my diabetes voice in 2016. It hung in there for a little while at the start. I just got too tired, too busy, too overwhelmed with life to keep hearing it. "Check Your BG" got swamped by the sounds of my rattling washing machine every Saturday morning. "Change Your Basal Rates" was drowned out by copious amounts of Netflix. "Advocate!" couldn't be heard beneath my new nephew's sweet little coos. I didn't take "Be prepared" along to work with me each day, and found myself completely out of test strips, insulin or both more times than I cared to count. (Thankfully there were people close by who helped me pick up the slack during those moments of complete unpreparedness).</div>
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In 2016 I let diabetes 'just be there' quietly in the background. I began to accept that sometimes you can't have perfect control...and that that sometimes might span for a year or more. Life was too busy for diabetes.<br />
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I think I need my diabetes voice though. My diabetes needs my diabetes voice. It helps.<br />
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Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-45518748630408516602016-12-29T13:21:00.004+10:002016-12-29T13:21:54.633+10:00CompanyThere's little about the world around you that you pay attention to when your blood sugar is low. A public space can diseappear quickly. People milling about, fast movements, babies crying, gossip amongst friends, or a fantastically coloured dress all cease to exist when you're in the realm of your low. You don't have the concentration to see separate objects, and noise mutes and dulls.<br />
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I was low today (thanks, Summer) at my local shopping centre. My foggy brain managed to distinguish an empty table that I could sit at and quietly drink my juice. It was a knockout low. I was glad for the table because breathing was difficult and my legs had gone past jelly stage and seemed to made of vapour; I couldn't imagine how they would support me at all.<br />
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As I sat and sculled my juice, a lady in her early 60's motioned to the other chair on my table. I had no idea what she wanted but I just nodded anyway. I didn't care, so long as I could drink my juice. She sat down next to me, plonking her bag heavily onto the floor beside her feet, A plastic cup in front of her. I could smell the coke in the cup, fizzing away.<br />
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Minutes passed in silence. I recovered from my hypo. I re-entered the world and began to pay attention to the lady who was had sat down opposite me. Her shoulder-length, slightly greying blonde hair was mussed. Her eyes were tired, and lips were tight as she rubbed them against each other. She was hunched over, and paying no attention to my stares.<br />
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In a beautiful moment I understood, as her hands rubbed over her face and she made a soft little groan of discomfort. I had been there with her, moments before, in that closed-off space. She sipped her cup of coke in the same way I drink soft drink when I'm low. When you need to swallow quickly, but the bubbles get up your nose, and the experience is unpleasant. The pursed lips and look of disgust written on a crinkled nose and squinting eyes as you force liquid you don't want into your body.<br />
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I stayed and waited. Her back straightened out and her hands ceased their repetitive rubbing of her face to rise up and smooth her hair down. Her eyes opened up, brighter and her the tension had left her cheeks. In silence, I checked my blood sugar. She didn't flinch at the blood that welled up from my finger tip. She offered a smile instead, and asked if I was feeling alright. I nodded and asked her the same. We gathered our things and left in opposite directions.<br />
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The whole drive home, I couldn't stop thinking about what a beautiful, surreal encounter it had been. The chance we had had to share that lonely, dark space that a hypo occupies and to feel understood.<br />
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<br />Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-28916829738610508952016-09-08T21:47:00.000+10:002016-09-08T22:23:56.132+10:00Drink. Eat. Drink. Eat.I am hollow. Vaguely aware that I have a shell of skin and hair molded into human form. Not strong enough to hold whats supposed to be inside.If there is anything inside; but I can't feel it. I don't feel like my skin is my own. There is nothing to feel when I scratch my nails across my face, trying to stimulate a sense. My chest is empty, even as my heart feels like it's beating too fast, and my lungs are too heavy. I watch my fingers wring together but I am disconnected from any feeling. When I clumsily bang my leg against a table, or a wall, I do not register it, even if I scrape the skin off and bleed. My body doesn't know that its happened. I am numb, in every sense.<br />
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In this state, I am not a person anymore. Who I am has left me. What I am has left me.<br />
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There's a monster in my body. Controlling me. It's only goal is to feed. The monster gets angry when it's interrupted. I get angry for the monster. I am not me anymore. I am a vessel for the monster, and my body is not my own.<br />
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I am simply a pipe connecting my mouth to something that's supposed to be in my stomach. That is all I focus on. How to get liquid down that pipe. I know it must go in my mouth first, but I'm not aware of how this happens. The air is thick and stale and the liquid I swallow on impulse is tasteless in my mouth. There is a vague and far-off sensation that food is in my mouth, that I am chewing, but it doesn't matter what. That is not the point. The point is to get it down. Drink. Eat. Drink. Eat.<br />
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My eyes are unseeing. I stare ahead without taking my surroundings in. I am not sure if they even exist. Everything is flat, and I believe that the landscape around me has been hastily painted on. The doorways are uneven and faces are blurry. I don't always manage to touch the things I am reaching for. I can see darkness in the corners of my vision and I think it is growing. Creeping closer. Maybe this is where the monster lives.<br />
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My body doesn't do as its told. I want to run away from this place. The monster in me keeps me captive, it skews my legs and makes my head swim if I try to lumbar away from the path it wants me to take. Even on the path it chooses I still sway, and trip as I feel my way towards what it wants. Drink. Eat. Drink. Eat.<br />
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There is cotton in my ears. Words are said but they don't make sense and they aren't important. Too many voices confuse me in this strange place. There is only room enough in my head for one voice. Snarling. Drink. Eat. Drink. Eat.<br />
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I can feel the monster in my skin as I feed it. It is stretching through my limbs, pushing against my bones and muscles. Sinews that I had forgotten I had, but feel heavy now as they strain tight beneath my skin, stretched by the monster who is growing. I ache, but I am feeling.<br />
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I am feeling and I am fighting back. Sound is exploding into my head as I rip the cotton from my ears. Light is over-bright as I fight my way through the dark and focus my vision. My chest is burning now from the effort of this battle of wills. My breathing is laboured, and I suck fresh air greedily as I fight to determine who will control me. My skin tingles and sweat prickles over my arms as I force the beast from out of body.<br />
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I win eventually. It takes me a while to recover. I feel nauseous. My body wants to rid itself of the food the monster fed into it. Every inch of me is tired. My toes are even tired.<br />
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I delight in wiggling them, knowing that they are mine. I am human.<br />
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Reasons Why I'm Hypo:<br />
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This is hypo.Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-56355039175674564132016-08-24T14:38:00.001+10:002016-08-24T14:38:03.450+10:00Endoscopic ReviewThere are some rare perks to having Type 1 Diabetes. Being first-in-line for a medical procedure is one of them.<br />
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I recently had an endoscopy to check for coeliacs disease and when I first called up to book I was offered a mid-morning appointment. It wouldn't have suited my diabetes at all. I casually dropped the magic 'D' word into my next sentence and I could almost hear the scramble on the other side of the phone to come up with a better time. Within 10 seconds I had been bumped up in priority to the much coveted procedure prime-time at 6.40am.<br />
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In the weeks prior to my endoscopy I did all the necessary, glutening myself up and setting appointments with my educator and endo for proper management during the procedure. The nurse at the endoscopy clinic became my new best phone buddy, working through the procedure with me beforehand to make sure that they had a handle on my Type 1 and my insulin pump.<br />
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After 4 frustrating weeks of glutening myself, dealing with the pain that came after eating and the resulting hypos, I was cheering when the morning finally rolled around.<br />
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My husband dropped me off on his way to work and sat with me until it was time for the procedure. Despite being nervous I was doing well. It made it a lot easier knowing that I was first in and wouldn't have to wait for anything.<br />
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Shortly after arrival I was called in to an assessment area where I met the doctor performing the endoscopy and went through a medical check, where they tested BP, my BGL, weight and height, and the details of the last food and drink I had had. To get an endoscopy you fast for 6 or so hours prior, so having the first appointment of the day was really helpful. I had accidentally consumed 4 jellybeans at 3am when I woke up a little low, but they were fine with this. I was asked if I had any questions and the only thing I really cared about was that I would be put out to it as I had read that some people were awake during these procedures. I was assured that because I had ticked the anxiety box on my pre-admission forms that I wouldn't be aware of anything happening to me.<br />
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After the assessment I was led through to the op area and set up in a bed where a nurse attached a BP monitor, pulse oximeter and inserted a cannula into the inside of my elbow. I met the anesthetist who once again reassured me I would be out to it. The anesthetist was the one who was in charge of my diabetes during the op, so I took him through the management plan my educator had set up with me. I checked my blood sugar, which was on 12 and rising (which it does every morning until I eat breakfast) so I kept my basal rate on my pump as per normal. I showed the anesthetist where my pump canula was inserted on my hip and the CGM in my arm and taught him that to check my blood sugar he could simply press the middle button and my CGM reading would show up on the pump screen. He was happy to let me self-manage as it was such a short (20 mins max) procedure.<br />
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It was as I was explaining the CGM that a second nurse entered stage right to remark on my insulin pump.<br />
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"An insulin pump?" She remarked, "What do you need that for?" I thought the answer was pretty obvious but replied that it was to help manage my Type 1 Diabetes as an alternative to injections.<br />
"Ohhhh, so you must have really bad diabetes then if you need that, hey. And you're so young."<br />
The last thing I needed as I was getting ready for a procedure was aggravation like this. I bit my tongue and explained that the pump was just another means of insulin delivery, similar to needles but with less injections and more freedom. She turned her nose up and sniffed that she "would prefer injections, if you ask me, because no-one can see that you have diabetes that way."<br />
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I went to reply, but I think the anesthetist either noticed my BP rising or the daggers I was shooting this nurse, because before I could reply he had motioned the other nurse to place a round tube into my mouth and announced that he was going to be putting me out right now.<br />
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40 minutes later I was hazily opening my eyes in recovery, feeling lovely and relaxed, wondering how I could get my hands on some anesthesia for home use and trying to avoid the nurse seeing that I was awake so I could just lie there a little while longer. She did eventually notice that I was lying there with one eye crooked open and bustled over to see how I was doing. She checked my BG (which I could already see had remained stable on my CGM) and got me up to have a breakfast of ham sandwiches.<br />
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20 minutes later I was being released into my mums care with instructions that I should receive the biopsy results in a few weeks' time.<br />
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The procedure was a lot easier than I thought it would be and I was surprised at how well my BGL held steady without any temp basals. The staff were all lovely & professional (minus that one nurse) and the only thing I wish I had been told about before was that its quite common to have sternum pain for up to a week after the endoscopy.<br />
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Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-49606472214588705132016-07-18T15:40:00.005+10:002016-07-18T15:40:44.185+10:00Both Feet on the GroundThis year Diabetes Australia focused on the 4,400 diabetes-related amputations per year, 85% of which are preventable. The campaign was received with mixed results, most likely because it did address an issue that people don't like to think of in relation to themselves or their clients.<br />
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I don't think I'm alone in wanting to ignore the more serious side to diabetes - the side where you may develop complications despite your best efforts to train your diabetes to sit and stay on command. I will readily admit that when I first saw that the key messaging was regarding amputations, my instinct to protect my vulnerable diabetes psyche was to ignore diabetes social media for the week. Which I somewhat did. I didn't want those images. Fear of complications is very real, among all people with diabetes, and each person deals with those fears differently. I deal with my fear by trying to maintain good blood glucose control and follow the annual cycle of care to prevent complications.<br />
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The problem is, I have to think about complications more than I feel comfortable with, because <i>I follow</i> the annual cycle of care. The current medical system in Australia favors those in the know about their health, and for those with little time or education on how to access various services, it is easy for them to get left behind in their diabetes management and complication prevention. The current onus when it comes to preventative care and measures is on the patient. The patient has to ask to see the podiatrist, they have to remember to see the optometrist, the patients schedules an appointment with the nurse for an updated chronic disease care plan. I don't always remember to include the podiatrist in my ever-rotating list of doctors and I rely on my yearly drivers medical as a reminder to see the optometrist, as just two examples. That's a lot of work that I have to do. A lot of appointments that might fall through the cracks. And a lot of know-how to get the system to work for me.<br />
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So I for one am welcoming this years National Diabetes Week messaging around preventable amputations. The campaign worked both to educate health professionals to pursue the annual cycle of care, including regular podiatry checks, and also to educate patients on understanding what sort of checks they should be getting, and when to seek help so that they don't end up with an unnecessary amputation. The messaging this year is as much about starting these conversations with your health professionals so that they can help you to tick off all the boxes relating to complications screening as it is asking you to be aware of your own body. In doing this, it alleviates some of the burdens for me, as a patient.<br />
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I have worked so closely with my GP and the practice nurse in regards to my diabetes-related care that they are starting to look through my records without prompting. At appointments they ask to make sure all my checks are up to date - and if they aren't, they then look for someone suitable and schedule an appointment for me so all I have to do is show up and everything else gets looked into. But this was a process, for both of us. I used to have to be the one to follow up and ask, and keep tabs on my out-of-date check ups.<br />
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Some of the complaints listed against the amputations campaign this year were in regards to diabetes-related distress linked to fear of amputations and other complications. People are generally afraid of the unknown and amputations and our future with diabetes is often unknown. So what if we try to make the future known? What if we provide patients and doctors alike with the knowledge of what to do in the early stages of the disease, or the early stages of an infection, on what to do to prevent this from ever happening. How much less distressed will people be, <i>knowing</i> that there are things they can do, and do now, to prevent the majority of amputations.<br />
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There were complaints that the messaging this year wasn't 'positive enough' and that National Diabetes week should only consistent of 'Girl-Power' style awareness where we show the public that we all have 'D-Power'. I think we're already doing this well enough though. For every diabetic who has ever pushed through a day high, low, yoyoing between both and tired AF, they're showing that we have the D-Power. We've got sportsmen and sportswomen, TV presenters, singers, a prime minister and just everyday people who all show that we with diabetes, we can do anything that we set our mind to. I don't worry about the public perception in regards to this but public perception does need to change where complications are concerned. It's no wonder we get stupid remarks, if we are too afraid to address the issue ourselves.<br />
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Why don't we turn a negative complication into a positive message? That won't hurt anyone. Not raising awareness about the risk of amputations and what can be done to prevent them for people who live with diabetes, and their health professionals - that will hurt someone. They might even lose a leg over it.<br />
<br />Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-89291469510872043262016-07-15T12:55:00.000+10:002016-07-15T19:00:05.149+10:00Pulp FictionI added an item to our staff meeting agenda at work the other day, and it had absolutely nothing to do with my job. It was a bit of a selfish agenda item.<br />
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At the end of the meeting, when all the staff attending by conference call had logged off, I called attention to my diabetes. Everyone at work knows I have it, my diabetes is not something that I hide. Some understand my diabetes fairly well, some the basics and some I am still working on educating.<br />
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I fielded an errant comment only a week ago during a staff birthday morning tea that I wouldn't be able to eat cake next week (now this week) because it would be National Diabetes Week. I am not sure how it being National Diabetes Week prevents me from putting cake in my mouth, but I'm beginning to think the commenter was on to something, because I am super high right now from the cake I did eat today at morning tea. We have lots of cake here. And I have a lot of salads that I don't want for dinner as a result.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaxPlbXQPiHy_Ul8jHTNbDdS0WhtyA9jVoLcp6EIyqi3AYkG6ufNN8Va9D1fSvtGpm08-c07PEDXKkNFFJvtmvgUbkZwMOq1FnsOihEU2M4tnwz_UOpz40SbFKJ4vAnucyzovrNnVkeQh-/s1600/IMG_20160715_152931.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaxPlbXQPiHy_Ul8jHTNbDdS0WhtyA9jVoLcp6EIyqi3AYkG6ufNN8Va9D1fSvtGpm08-c07PEDXKkNFFJvtmvgUbkZwMOq1FnsOihEU2M4tnwz_UOpz40SbFKJ4vAnucyzovrNnVkeQh-/s200/IMG_20160715_152931.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hands Free Hypo.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Conversations continued later that day when I was walking around with a juice box tucked under my chin treating a hypo. I don't usually allow people to see me treating a hypo because I tend to get cranky and I just want to be alone. This was one of those rare times when I allowed other people near me. Naturally, questions were directed to me about hypos, how to treat them, and then if they should/could do anything and if so, when. I went through the usual explanation and ended with instructions that if myself or the other diabetic at work were unconscious, that we should be given Glucagon, and how to give it. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Like in Pulp Fiction?" someone said, and mimed stabbing a needle into their chest.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5rYUKSYOBbJHLBXDV3DYNpmOtL2HysPCnGwpEgXDCLVEnO71ljfWxFeTOZGWoVpQqM59kFt345C6wAUGVO1pE8VJJHZzM5GUM8DOMea76BGAB56j3oYSOTeRFP74FuB2RDLMgUKofVnBP/s1600/pulpfiction.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="128" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5rYUKSYOBbJHLBXDV3DYNpmOtL2HysPCnGwpEgXDCLVEnO71ljfWxFeTOZGWoVpQqM59kFt345C6wAUGVO1pE8VJJHZzM5GUM8DOMea76BGAB56j3oYSOTeRFP74FuB2RDLMgUKofVnBP/s320/pulpfiction.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Almost, but with a little less 'aggressively stabbing needle to the heart' and more careful insertion into a large muscle</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
The next day I added a Glucagon demonstration to the staff meeting agenda, which is how, in the middle of National Diabetes Week, I came to be holding a diabetes special of 'Show and Tell' at our staff meeting. Complete with demonstration from a dead (expired) kit I had been hoarding at home.<br />
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Reasons Why I'm Hypo: I rage bolused to get rid of the stubborn post-cake high. Rage bolused kicked in hard.Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-74394930463665727822016-07-07T21:03:00.001+10:002016-07-07T21:03:10.342+10:00NDS-What? (Part Two)My pump site was due for a change on Monday morning. I went about gathering the necessary items for my set change: Canula set, reservoir, alcohol swab, insulin. Except when I scavenged for insulin in my fridge I found a single vial rolling around at the back of my fridge. Essentially I only had 6 more days of life stored. With half of that vial going into my pump during the set change, it was 3 days of life left in back-up. I obviously made getting new insulin a priority, and scheduled an appointment with my GP to get a new script (I didn't have one already). When I did another set change today, it meant that I had absolutely no insulin left as a back-up. Feeling a little bit panicked (Ok, I was more than mildly freaking out) by my lack of organisation, I headed off to my local chemist as soon as I had the script crumpled into my hand, and luckily they had some NovoRapid in stock (Usually they have to order it so I was lucky!).<br />
<br />
While I was there, I thought I should place an order for my brand of test strips, as its not a common type and I have yet to see it stocked on shelf anywhere. I had actually been organised with this, and had made a specific trip to my chemist back when the NDSS changes were first announced. They assured me they would read up on it and prepare, and I gave them the product codes for the pump consumables and test strips I usually used.<br />
<br />
I requested my test strips, and was told that I was the first person to have asked for a special order under these changes. I expected as much. What I didn't expect was to be told it would be 2 weeks....2 whole weeks....before they thought they could expect a delivery, as they had not yet 'figured out the system'. Luckily I am not as disorganised with test strips as I am with insulin...I have one and a half boxes of strips left, about 3 weeks worth of supplies.<br />
<br />
The '2 weeks' statement left me a bit in shock. As far as I had been able to read, there was supposed to be a 24 to 48 hour turnaround on NDSS supplies with this new change. 2 weeks is well, well over what I consider acceptable. I was pissed off at the move from Diabetes Australia as NDSS providers to chemists as sole providers by the federal government. It's scary having to rely on small metal strips to control a disease. Its scary when you are told there's essentially a 2 week wait to get access to these things that help to control your disease. Its scary when that control is ripped from you by a government who will gladly sacrifice your health to save a buck or 2. Its scary when the issues you were worried about with the provider change, turn out to be something that you actually need to worry about instead of just being crazy what-ifs. When the worst case scenario, that you can no longer easily access the tools you need to survive, becomes your scenario.<br />
<br />
I left, being told to call back in 2 weeks time, when they 'hoped' that the strips would be in. As I was gathering my things to leave, the pharmacist made the comment, "I've ordered you one box, that's it right?". No, not if there's a 2 week wait on supplies everytime, its not. I changed my order to several boxes, and will see how many I can get away with. No matter how this pans out, I don't trust the new system, Not with my life, So I'll continue to stock like the apocalypse is right on my doorstep, and will make sure I never put myself in a situation where I have less than 3 months supplies at any given time.<br />
<br />
It's just another added layer of thought I have to add my diabetes management now.<br />
<br />Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-44929973559700048782016-06-23T21:36:00.001+10:002016-06-23T21:36:49.512+10:00King meets KingIf you've read a few of my recent posts you will know that CGM funding, and especially the extension to adults, is obviously something I am quite passionate about. As far as I am concerned, just because I can no longer walk around in frilly pink dresses without getting sidelong glances, doesn't mean that I don't deserve the same equal access to healthcare as the cute 5 year old with pig-tails.<br />
<br />
I was very excited to be given the chance to talk with Shadow Health Minister Catherine King and ALP Candidate for my electorate of Bonner, Laura Fraser Hardy, about the recent CGM funding announcement.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEqA6bQiJFu7GBMOjjmwGnQKeTtAmxSmc23iqcT919_pM6aykCUzcg_BIMMO6ObsJQdXTR5aMqO35qYwJHBxda-7ToVFCKiT6bOU5B9LFjcAtMpStbRBj_-1KBsoNE7OV6MWniGO_8q-xL/s1600/IMG_8403.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEqA6bQiJFu7GBMOjjmwGnQKeTtAmxSmc23iqcT919_pM6aykCUzcg_BIMMO6ObsJQdXTR5aMqO35qYwJHBxda-7ToVFCKiT6bOU5B9LFjcAtMpStbRBj_-1KBsoNE7OV6MWniGO_8q-xL/s640/IMG_8403.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
Along with 2 families with Type 1 Children, we were given the opportunity to chat about what the election funding commitment could mean for us, and the positive impact that new technology can have on our lives.<br />
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Before I met them, I was quite nervous to be talking to Catherine and Laura. I felt like there was a lot of pressure (that I put on myself) to make sure that they really knew what it meant to be having this conversation about CGM. What is an election pledge for them, is potentially someone with Type 1 Diabetes' life. Potentially my life.<br />
<br />
I don't know what I was worried about. Catherine and Laura were very involved in the conversation and I felt that they were really trying to understand what it means to live with Type 1 Diabetes. They were both friendly, attentive and inquisitive about not just CGM, but about pumps, injections, blood glucose testing and diabetes in general. I use CGM full-time, so I was able to pull King out for a bit of show and tell, including letting Catherine & Laura see the pros of CGM with a 'Suspend Before Low' (that I never had to treat for) captured on my graph before lunch (bonus points to me, I was having a nice smooth day with a graph of 7 and below for the previous 15 or so hours).<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixNa5KluG_vYvlFhyphenhyphen-J9dwOUKfjXWonGlV95NJfwzQHvzbbvIN5d_k2OPKbtk_Ike9PG4DJJ3cS2nPRN6pAEnn5uy7UMTilo_7JnB4Tns2wImQ-Jjgn_V0GYT7U0L_VXm0RiWYiVv-G2aa/s1600/IMG_7278.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixNa5KluG_vYvlFhyphenhyphen-J9dwOUKfjXWonGlV95NJfwzQHvzbbvIN5d_k2OPKbtk_Ike9PG4DJJ3cS2nPRN6pAEnn5uy7UMTilo_7JnB4Tns2wImQ-Jjgn_V0GYT7U0L_VXm0RiWYiVv-G2aa/s400/IMG_7278.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Introducing King to Laura & Catherine</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I got to do what I wanted and had a conversation with Catherine about the inclusion of funding for adults. Obviously I would still like to see the funding extended to adults with no requirements, as with the funding for children. This is a problem across the board for diabetes technology though, including insulin pumps, where adults have to jump through hoops to be funded, but children don't (Yes, I did make these comments too). There's always room for growth, but at least that initial proposal is including adults, which opens up a door for further expansion on the programs. I don't doubt that Diabetes Australia and JDRF will continue advocating for access for everyone.<br />
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To read more about the ALP's committment to CGM funding, you can read diabetes Australia's statement<a href="https://www.diabetesaustralia.com.au/media-releases/15251"> here.</a><br />
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Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-40645575141913757492016-06-17T14:10:00.004+10:002016-06-17T14:10:36.587+10:00ReliefNews came from the ALP on Wednesday, that they had jumped aboard the CGM train, announcing an election pledge of $84 million to improve access to diabetes technology, predominantly a CGM subsidy as well as extra funding for the insulin pump access scheme currently in place.<div>
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<div>
This was initially relief for my conscience, because I was no longer having to vote against technology that I stand behind as having such a positive impact on my life. I did worry that voting against CGM would make it seem like it was not a needed technology, when I feel strongly that it is needed. </div>
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The announcement was more than just good for my political agenda though. The announcement by ALP included not only children up to 21 years old, but adults over 21 who had severe hypoglycemia or hypo unawareness, as well as pregnant women. </div>
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As far as I have inquired so far, the submissions that were made by Diabetes Australia, JDRF and other relevant groups including ADEA were to include all people with type one diabetes, and never limited their recommendations to children only. To see this recommendation for all Australians living with Type 1 Diabetes being acknowledged makes me happier than I can put into words. After all, my diabetes has never decided to toe the line and model itself as an A-Grade student just because I happen to be above the legal drinking age and know how to do my own taxes.</div>
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Everyone should have access to life-saving technology. Adults who have severe hypos and hypo unawareness may live by themselves. I have night-time hypo unawareness, where I do not wake up at all to nypos, and the only way I can see that I have even had one is because I can look at my CGM trace the next day and see where my pump has kicked into action to suspend my blood glucose. With my 640G, it even does one better and suspends before low so I never even reach that low level. At home with my husband, I have someone who can help me, but when I go away for work (which is several times a year) I rely heavily on my CGM. </div>
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<div>
So today I am very relieved, that we as adults have had a victory too.</div>
Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-20319469141567873432016-06-14T21:51:00.001+10:002016-06-14T21:51:06.602+10:00Sugar ScarsI flicked onto to ABC3 (yep, a kids channel) the other night to watch a re-run of the season final of Tomorrow When the War Began. I grumbled at the T.V. as the plot deviated further from my beloved books (which I definitely have to read again). I don't like it when things are different from what I know.<br />
<br />
'Tomorrow' is one of those series I can read again and again, and imagine differently every time. I loved the movie and 6 years on I'm still more than mildly pissed off that they never made the sequels. So the TV series starts off, and its so different to the books. Fi couldn't be less of a pretty proper lady and more of a tomboy if she tried. No. And what is with that Robin liking Lee crap? Just Nooooooooooo. The random invading army who seem to be asian/australian/kiwi/I think I saw a few Indians. Where are they even from? All of it is no. Sadly though, this fail of a TV series may be the only way I will see the series completed.<br />
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I digress.<br />
<br />
I think the point I was going to make before I went off on my ranting tangent was that I really love the survivalist idea behind 'Tomorrow'. How ordinary people would react to situations where all their comforts are taken away and everything in their life is all about survival.<br />
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I'm not sure if these sorts of books make everyone else think of how they would react in a similar situation, or if its just me. What I would do to survive, How I'd get food, find shelter, join with other humans, what sort of things I'd scavenge. Which neighbourhood I'd move into and which mansion I would booby trap. How to manage a chronic illness when medical supplies are limited and have ceased to be manufactured.<br />
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On one of the Facebook groups for Diabetes, one of the D-mums put up a post on a book she had been given. <i>Sugar Scars</i> by Travis Norwood follows a young woman with T1D in a post-apocalyptic world where a virus kills most of the population (only 1 in 9600 people survive). I'm going to somewhat review it now because I took the time to find it on Amazon, download it to my kindle and read it, so if you don't want to read some extremely vague spoilers that just give you the gist of things, stop reading now.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAhbZfF_tVEUiHXx0IMWlgcEHK6F3dDm73CO6SYzGTfK1tbXUCROpAtRkMlA_KJf98-Z-lTrXxD92mKfzhnQeieUgv85wzMxNMFqtNVccE542XmdKoPDUNdbnLW50sz9B_cKTKflvqocPM/s1600/Sugar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAhbZfF_tVEUiHXx0IMWlgcEHK6F3dDm73CO6SYzGTfK1tbXUCROpAtRkMlA_KJf98-Z-lTrXxD92mKfzhnQeieUgv85wzMxNMFqtNVccE542XmdKoPDUNdbnLW50sz9B_cKTKflvqocPM/s320/Sugar.jpg" width="205" /></a><br />
<br />
The book very much centers on the main characters struggles to survive with Type 1 Diabetes. There's not much plot besides her diabetes. It's not a bad thing. Certainly, I think the author, if he didn't have or know someone with T1D, must have done a boat load of research on Type 1 Diabetes.<br />
<br />
The plot revolves around the main character, Sugar (we never find out her real name), as she collects insulin, and meets other people around her town in Tallahassee. Sugar finds the insulin around her town, sleeps with someone who can hook her up with electricity so she can run a fridge to keep her insulin cool, and goes about her merry life, essentially retired at 19 years old. (She does not have to forage for food because there are so much supplies available). At some point, it gets pointed out to Sugar from her sugar/electricity-daddy that her insulin actually expires. It was probably at this point in the book that I started doubting that the author actually had diabetes himself. There is no way that you can be reliant on insulin to live and not know that it expires. We have ALL had that talk from our diabetes doctors about extreme highs caused by cloudy insulin, changing temperatures and the forgotten vials at the back of the fridge. Its just not possible for you to not know that insulin has an expiry date. It's stamped on the damn box and on every vial.<br />
<br />
So Sugar learns the shocking truth that she too will expire if she doesn't manage to get some new insulin batches. She goes off on an epic journey to make insulin the old-fashioned way, looking up textbooks, cutting pigs open, getting her chemistry kit out to play with. Along the way she meets a vet who really likes to vet/misses his day-job and has turned into an animal-saving recluse. Somehow or other, I forget how, he ends up getting injured and Sugar has to stitch him up. The stitching up of human flesh is all going swimmingly, until he instructs her to sew through the subcutaneous layer, to which she responds (Wait for it....wait for it....) that she has no idea with a subcutaneous layer is. The only response I had to this was to slam the book shut and whine at one of the poor Diabetes Australia staff who happened to be nearby (I work very close by to Diabetes QLD...lucky for me, unlucky for them). I'm not sure where Sugar was taught to inject if not her subcutaneous layer.<br />
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I won't spoil the whole book, because it is worth a read if you are considering destroying the world and need to know how to make your own insulin (there are even some interesting side-plots). Its kind of refreshing to see a plot that isn't about killing zombies (but I do love Zombies) or warring against other humans, but is about surviving a chronic illness, plain and simple. A book relevant to my feelings about Diabetes in real-life, because I've had 'Get New Insulin' written in my diary for a month now and I'm down to my second last vial and I'm starting to wonder if I'll let myself die before I remember to get a new script and stop by the chemist. That fear is real.<br />
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Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-33896068193671800622016-05-20T21:58:00.001+10:002016-05-20T22:44:50.470+10:00Blog Week Day 5: Tips & Tricks<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i><span style="background: white; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Let's round out the week by sharing
our best diabetes tips and diabetes tricks. From how you organize supplies to
how you manage gear on the go/vacation (beach, or skiing, or whatever). From
how you keep track of prescription numbers to how you remember to get your
orders refilled. How about any “unconventional” diabetes practices, or ways to
make diabetes work for YOU (not necessarily how the doctors say to do it!).
There's always something we can learn from each other. (Remember though, please
no medical advice or dangerous suggestions.) </span></i><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I
have to apologise for the lack of blog yesterday. I wasn't feeling it, and I
don't like to force myself to write if I really cannot get into it. So there
will be a double upload today. You can check out yesterdays blog, uploaded
today<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://justnormalash.blogspot.com.au/2016/05/diabetes-blog-week-day-4-healthcare.html">here.</a></span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">So
without further ado: Tips & Tricks Time!</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="background: white; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Diabetes
Supply Overflow</span></u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">A
few weeks ago, I uploaded the meme I had created on leaving the house before
and after diabetes, which was inspired by the fact that I have to take a
mini-pharmacy everywhere with me. I have been trying lately to take some of the
weight off my shoulders and try to use a small(er) handbag. I can leave the
house now with a juice or pee-jar full of jellybeans, meter, strips, lancing
device & pen. Of course it does depend on how far I'm going, ability to
quickly procure more supplies & hypo treatment if needed, and how long I
will be gone. Using CGM full-times means that sometimes I can even leave without
meter, strips & lancing device. The hypo treatment & quick-acting
insulin pen & 2 to 3 pen tips are the most important things I might need
when out. I frequently run out of insulin throughout the day (I'm not good at
looking ahead for my insulin needs). If I run out completely and there's
nothing at all in my reservoir, I use the pen to inject insulin into the
reservoir. No need to take a reservoir connector. If I am mostly out but have
enough for basal but no boluses, I inject the boluses - but do it straight into
my canula so I don't have to feel the needle. If you look at where the
hypodermic needle goes through a canula (Medtronic Mios are particularly good
for this) to insert it into your body, once you remove this needl there is
still a small pin-prick sized hole that you can inject into to avoid having to
stick an actual needle in your skin. Yes, I hate needles this much.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="background: white; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">MINE
(food)</span></u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I
have a co-worker who likes to eat my jellybeans. I have begun to counter this
in 2 different ways. Firstly I keep my jellybeans in a urine sample jar (those
things are sterile) because no one wants to touch that. I have also recently
begun stocking some Bertie Botts every flavor beans. They
legitimately mean every flavor. There is a vomit flavour, one, and yeah it
tastes as stated. I can't stomach them. So I put them on the top of my larger
jar of jellybeans, with all the acceptable flavours way way down the bottom. My
jellybean jar has remained untouched by anyone but me of late.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Girly BGL patterns</span></u><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">How many other people
get warned against using parts of your body that aren't your stomach as canula
sites? I'm sure my educator sighs internally when I tell her about the newest
part of my body that I have decided to try with my canulas. Something about
different absorbency rates. I've made that work for me. Previously I have given
TMI when it comes to how badly my menstrual cycle fucks things up in the land
of good glycaemic control. But no more! I have now worked out when my BGL is
running higher, lower and holding steady over my menstrual cycle, and I plan my
set insertion sites around this. During the few days when I am running higher,
I place a Sure-T set in my leg, because the constant movement and more muscle
gives me better sensitivity, helping to lower my BGLs. When I am running low, I
place Mio sets in my hips, where I have the most fat and seem to have the worst
sensitivity, to raise my BGLs. All that fat. Doesn't really move much. And when
I'm pretty even I place Mio sets in my back and arms. I never use my stomach -
that is CGM only territory, so is constantly in use by sensors. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I'm sure I have many
more tips, but nothing that my exhausted brain can remember, which brings
Diabetes Blog Week to an end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">You can read the
final responses at<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=dblogweek&postid=13May2016d">this
link here.</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Once again, Thank you
to<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/">Karen at BitterSweet</a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>for hosting a week full of fun,
creativity, personal reflections and no sleep.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I am looking forward to a weekend of blog catch-ups where I can finish reading the blogs (I think I got through roughly a quarter of all posts during my exceptionally busy week), and clicking the sign-up buttons on a bunch of them so I can continue to follow them. I also want to try to get into a few more of the online support platforms if I have time (I can find the DOC overwhelming in the sheer volume of support sometimes) and might even give that twitter thing a go (I think I have one, lying completely dormant somewhere).</span></div>
Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5466999687245114929.post-75165554890369551982016-05-20T19:54:00.002+10:002016-05-20T19:54:31.349+10:00Diabetes Blog Week Day 4: The Healthcare Experiance<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "pt sans"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25.6px;"><i>Most people who live with a chronic illness end up with a lot of experience when it comes to dealing with healthcare. How would you improve or change your healthcare experience? What would you like to see happening during medical visits with your healthcare team? How about when dealing with your health insurance companies? What's your Healthcare Wish List or Biggest Frustration? Today is the day to share it all!</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: pt sans;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.6px;">Excuse my tardiness. I started this last night, but got very, very tired and felt quite unmotivated. Today is a better day for motivation. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "pt sans"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25.6px;">In my perfect world, Healthcare would be more unified. At the moment, trying to access a range of services is a very disjointed, costly and timely practice. As a Type 1 Diabetic, my healthcare team <b>should</b> consist of:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "pt sans"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25.6px;"> - A GP</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "pt sans"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25.6px;"> - Endocrinologist</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "pt sans";"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.6px;"> - Diabetes Educator</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "pt sans";"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.6px;">- Podiatrist (I had to ask my husband:"What are those foot people called again?" because I never see these guys)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "pt sans";"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.6px;">- Optometrist</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "pt sans";"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.6px;"> - Mental Health team</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "pt sans";"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.6px;">- Dentist</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "pt sans";"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 25.6px;">- Pathologist</span></span><br />
- Probably a bunch of other HCPs that I don't even know exist<br />
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Each of these different HCPs and medicine areas need different types of referrals, and usually require you to prompt your GP to be given information about them. A lot of the time, unless I know about and ask for the service that I am wanting, it's never mentioned to me. I've only seen the podiatrist once, because I had one service left-over on my care plan and the care plan nurse just allocated it to the podiatrist. I haven't seen a dentist for a little while because nobody is prompting me too, and that's just another thing to remember about my health. I do get a reminder to see an optometrist so I can get my licence every year, and I make my endo & educator appointments reoccurring appointments (Yeah, you can do that. Medical software has a cool 'Make reoccurring appointment' button that you can ask the receptionist to click).<br />
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With a disease like diabetes, trying to balance all of these appointments is hard enough, let alone doing the leg-work on each to find good doctors (or any nearby doctor at all), get a referral and make an appointment for each. Where you are regularly checked for each of these health points, and from this given access to doctors who will meet your health needs. My experience is that most HCPs don't know who to even send you to when you do ask, and they expect to be told a name to write on the referral. I was lucky that I already knew my endo before I was diagnosed, and that my endo passed me on to the worlds best diabetes educator. I did ask my GP for a mental health care plan once to talk about some mental health issues I was having related to my diabetes. I didn't know the name of anyone particularly good in that field, and was given a referral to the first name alphabetically on my GP's list of mental health professionals. The person that I did end up seeing thought that hypos were hilarious and said she liked watching people have them. As a side note, my fear of hypoglycaemia and subsequent high BGLs was why I was seeing her......She was not a winner in the health professional field.<br />
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So I guess ideal access for me would follow a path of:<br />
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1. See GP.<br />
2. GP refers on to clinic nurse for full assessment of multidisciplinary health needs.<br />
3. Nurse does up plan covering each aspect of your health (eyes, feet, teeth, mental health, educator, endo) and is able to give you suggestions on who meets your needs in each area. (This would rely on a better, shared health service where GPs can access notes about services in their areas used by all health professionals. The current model is very segregated where GPs must build up their own database of names, and sometimes they do not have any listed. I'm not asking for a program where Drs rate each other, bur rather an accessible database where basic details of any services (ie. area of interest, price, waiting list, what they are used for/do, etc) in the area can be logged by anyone coming across a new service. I do something similar to this in my job for a particular disease and patients are always very grateful that they can be told about multiple services near them in one conversation.<br />
4. Referrals are given and arranged for all at the one time. This can also include support services such as health organisations (Such as DQ) or even support groups for particular illnesses in the area, rehabilitation programs, etc.<br />
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For patients who struggle to know which doctors they need to see and what support is available to them this could be a lifeline. As I mentioned previously, I run a support group, and my educator now gives out my contact details to any patient that she thinks would benefit from peer support. I am happy to work with her on this because it is one less thing for patients to worry about, and really creates a holistic approach to healthcare.<br />
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For other brilliant posts on this topic, please see <a href="http://www.blenza.com/linkies/links.php?owner=dblogweek&postid=13May2016c">here</a><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #755a2a; font-family: "pt sans"; font-size: 16px; line-height: 25.6px;"><br /></span>Ashleighhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15861199353432481630noreply@blogger.com1