Apologies don't regrow Beta cells

"What's that?" The 30 year old waiter pointed to my hip.

Here we go again. 

"Oh. That. It's my insulin pump. I'm Diabetic." 

"I thought it was a pager." A pause, as his brain ran into overdrive to process what I said. "I'm sorry you have that."

"It doesn't bother me." I gave him a quick smile as I turned away. 

A few minutes later I returned to the counter to pay for my meal. He clearly wasn't done thinking about it yet. "I thought you were a doctor."

"No, just diabetic."

"I always thought diabetes only happened to old people." This guy obviously does a lot of thinking. I contemplated buying him a thesaurus just so he could look up alternatives to 'I thought'.

"I have Type 1 Diabetes, it's autoimmune. Maybe you've heard of juvenile or kids diabetes? Its that kind."

He paused, apparently trying to decide if he should say what he was thinking, which turned out to be "Like when their parents feed them too much sugar?"

And he was doing so well in his questions before that.

"No, no. Autoimmune means my body attacked itself. It has nothing to do with sugar. Its just something that happened" Somehow I managed to keep my voice polite. It really did seem like he wanted to know, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt with his statement about too much sugar. He did start to nod his head like he understood.

"Well, I hope they have a cure for you one day. I'm really sorry you have diabetes."



Some days I hate these conversations. You can tell the people who aren't going to listen to or believe you, no matter how many facts you arm yourself with. Today I felt like I was talking to someone who would listen. It was also the first time anyone has ever apologised to me about my diabetes. I didn't really know what to say to that because I'm not sorry that I have diabetes. I'm just sorry that so many misconceptions about diabetes are still mainstream.

NDW (National Diabetes Week) ended just over a week ago and conversations like this are why I will continue to answer questions and field silly comments with as much tact and good nature as possible (out loud, anyway. The ranting monologue in my head may sound a little different). The public currently get their education from the media, which more often than not, print misleading or false information about all types of diabetes. Its open and honest conversations where you don't make people feel silly for asking that help to change wrong pre-defined ideas about diabetes to a correct and better understanding of diabetes.

For myth busting on Type 2 Diabetes, see here. For Type 1 myths, click here.

Kellion Awards

It;s National Diabetes Week here in Oz. I'm very happy that yesterday I got to kick it off in one of the best ways possible.

I had the great privilege of sitting among some of the most inspirational people that the Diabetes world has ever seen. The Kellion Victory Medal recipients. I was invited along by Diabetes QLD to attend with my husband.

I initially thought about asking another diabetic to join me as my plus one, but my husband had recently made a comment that I didn't invite him to enough diabetes things. I was glad it was him that I bought because the experience of watching people receive their Kellion Award who had lived with diabetes for 50, 60 or 70 years was very emotional. I needed a hand to squeeze to stop me from bawling like a baby (although that may have been the high of 22 encouraging the quiet sniffles).

My husband and I were seated at the table of a proud gentleman who had brought along his wife, son, daughter-in-law and grandson. Until the official start of the ceremony we talked among our table, trading tales of old and new technology. Little did I realise that the man who we shared a table with would share one of the most inspirational stories of the day. He talked about the ups and downs of diabetes, of how he hid it from his wife when they 1st started dating, the changes he had seen. He talked about the social advancements in diabetes, and the new stance on discrimination against diabetics in the workforce that he was happy had changed for the better since his time working. And a beautiful tale of motivation. "When my grandson was born" he said, gesturing towards the young man at our table "I made a pact with him, that I had to hang around long enough for him to pour me a scotch on his 21st birthday." At this point he was quite emotional and his voice was cracking, as he stood tall and proud and announced "Well that happens this week."

A 60 year Kellion Award recipient, he was the proudest of the lot, aware of his accomplishments, all made whilst living with a chronic medical condition. The enormity of the effort it had taken him to reach this milestone was not lost on me. By the end of his speech I was almost certain that one of my greatest goals in life would be receiving my own Kellion (in 46 1/2 years time!). Not only is the Kellion a great way to recognise that you've managed to drag diabetes around for 50, 60 or 70 years, but a great way to recognise all of your achievements in life. Perhaps because of the mortality that diabetes represents, we may tend to recognise smaller and more everyday accomplishments as being such important parts of our lives.

I could probably write a small book on attending the Kellion awards and the inspiration I felt. How lucky I am to have been diagnosed in a time when a blood glucose level can be obtained in 5 seconds, instead of by heating urine over a burner for 10 minutes. Especially how lucky I am to have access to technology like insulin pumps. Knowing that other people survived, for 50 or more years, without access for a long time to the advancements we have today.

There was one statement said which summed everything up nicely for me. "Diabetes is about having to do things you don't like, but getting on with it and just doing it anyway". Nothing about diabetes is fun and enjoyable. But I will happily trade the mere seconds it takes to care for myself each time for the many more years I will enjoy if I take that time to look after myself. The longer I have diabetes, the less I think about the strange things I have do to my body to survive. Happily, diabetes takes a back-seat to my life and the brief moments of pain or discomfort are quickly forgotten. The Kellion Medal Recipients were living proof that you can have any life you want, diabetes or no diabetes.





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Reasons Why I'm Hypo: Not Hypo, but I somehow managed to concentrate and soak in the awards ceremony sitting on a BGL of 22. There was no foreseeable reason for the 22 other than the fact that I didn't sleep well (if at all) the night before.

Them Diabetes Food Feels

I like to do quizzes, surveys and make lists. Questionnaires. I like answering things. For some reason I believe my opinion and self-identity matter.

So naturally when I opened up my latest 'Member Matters' email newsletter from DQ and found the link to a research survey on eating behaviours in individuals with Type 1 Diabetes, I happily jumped on board and completed it.

As usual there were the normal trigger warnings that they give out before completing any research survey. I didn't think the warnings would mean anything to me. Basically if I see food that I like, I eat it. I really didn't think this survey would mean, or do, anything for me.

It surprised me. I know that having diabetes doesn't create the best relationship with food. But I thought that somehow I had managed to escape that particular brew of diabetes emotions. The food emotions.

I have them. That little survey dug deep and forced me to really think about my relationship with food. To the outside world, I act like food is no issue. Double chocolate cake with extra chocolate syrup? Yes please, and I'll take that with good glycaemic control to boot (if it has chocolate content of any kind, you know I've got that carb count sorted.)

But apparently there is still some small part of me that says I should be ashamed of food and eating. Because I'm diabetic. Because I know that people are judging me. Because I know that glycaemic control can vary wildly with each morsel I pop into my mouth and the perfectionist part of me wants good glycaemic control, all of the time.

I sneak food. Not like I have a stash hidden under my bed (well I have some in my bedside table drawer but that's for nypos),but in the way that I will pretend I haven't eaten food. Or pretend I didn't eat a particular food. I also don't particularly like eating in front of other people.

And then came the questions on when this behavior was most evident. When do I sneak food? Usually when I'm sick of questions about my diabetes, diabetes itself, or people trying to 'help' me. Food seems to be a 'question trigger' for people to remember to ask you about your BGL, or wonder how many carbs are in that, or various other things. When I'm sick of that, its just easier to eat away from people. Or just pretend I didn't eat.

I pretend I haven't eaten a certain food when someone says something about my diabetes and what I have eaten. The other day I was at a party for a friend. And I was unintentionally 'diabetes shamed'. It was cake time, and as everyone else was handed their pieces, I was handed a smaller piece, because I had diabetes. I chose not to get upset then, because I was in a room full of people who didn't know me or my condition, and I didn't want to draw any attention to myself. Even though I have insulin and therefore could have eaten the cake no problems, the situation made me feel very awkward to be eating the cake at all. I brang some home and my husband asked if Id eaten any there, and I wavered between saying no I hadn't or telling him about what had happened. It was hard to admit how ashamed such a simple misunderstanding had made me feel.

I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do about my diabetes food habits. I guess that's the perilous side of being survey 'click-happy'. They open the can of worms and dump it all over your floor, but then refuse to offer help in cleaning it up. Good thing I'm pretty handy with a broom.

I Ashleigh, Take you, Diabetes

A month ago I walked down the aisle. Somewhat. I got married, I just didn't really have an aisle. Logistics.

Everyone ever since has asked me how 'married life' has been treating me. Much the same really. My husband still doesn't like to do the dishes. I still don't pay any attention when he starts talking in work lingo. We both still go to work. Come home. Make the house messy. Clean it on weekends when we think it reaaaaally needs a clean. And I still have diabetes.

Apparently it didn't take the hint when our celebrant explained the 'union of a man and woman to the exclusion of all others' part of the ceremony. Although you might forgive my diabetes if it wasn't really paying attention to that part. We actually had that part read separately to ourselves and our two witnesses, given that both my husband and I believe strongly in same-sex marriage equality. Sadly, that particular line is an actual legal requirement for a marriage to be deemed legit here in backwater Australia. 

I did a piece for Diabetes Queensland about a week after I got married as a follow up to a post I did about wedding prep with diabetes. I talked about how diabetes actually left me (mostly) alone for the day. The prep actually worked, it was amazing. 

I got my marriage certificate early this week. The basic gist of getting my marriage certificate meant that I could finally change my name somewhere other than Facebook. So I have been excitedly changing my name on my bank cards, at Queensland Transport (where I handed in my medical certificate for driving with diabetes at the same time. Only one month late), and some weird place with a bunch of bickering bogans out the front. Sorry, Centrelink. Medicare. It only took me four attempts to merge my husband and my Medicare cards. The first time they made me line up  and then sit for ages for no reason. I had to fill out a form apparently. Even after calling to ask that specific question and being told to just turn up with my Marriage Certificate. The second and third times I rocked up to CentreCare the line was out the door by about 50 people. The fourth time I decided to be right outside CentreCare's doors at opening time. It worked pretty well. My husband and I are now an official family unit. I just hope that I didn't miss anywhere, because I'm 85% sure I have lost the marriage certificate already.

Upon coming back from CentreCare the fourth time I discovered a pretty wooden USB sitting in my mail box. Wedding photos. So you'll have to excuse my absence. I've been poring over photos and reminiscing about how my hair and make-up will never ever look that good again. And wondering how I look 10 x fatter now than I did one month ago. I blame it on the cake. 

If anyone was curious, this is what diabetes looks like on your wedding day:

It looks like: The fresh site inserted into your leg. The one you changed simultaneously whilst getting your hair done. When the smell of new insulin overpowered the smell of hairspray. And you found it oddly comforting.

It looks like: A blood sugar check, done just before stepping into your dress. The one your bridesmaid reminded you to do because you were so paranoid about getting blood on your dress. 

It looks like: Pulling your pump painstakingly slowly through your 'suck-it-all-in' underwear so as not to tear out your pump site. And then realising you pulled it up the wrong way and having to feed your pump and tubing back down through your underwear again. 

It also looks like playing 'Find the pump pocket' and having to search all 6 layers of your dress skirt to find the specially altered loop to attach your pump to.

It looks like: Protecting your feet. Even if that means pairing gumboots with your wedding dress.

It looks like: A first look. A time to relax with your husband, before he becomes your husband. It looks like a way to calm those nervous blood sugar lows and highs down.

It looks like: Diabetes? What Diabetes? 

It looks like: It doesn't exist. Especially when your husband makes you cry with the sweetest vows ever written.

It looks like: A tissue in your bra instead of your pump.

It looks like: An amazing view. A reason to look after your eyes.

It looks like: The bouquets you made yourself. When you did a blood sugar test after you pricked your finger on florists stem trying to attach the brooches and other fun trinkets.

It looks like: Hugs from another amazing diabetic!

It looks like: The curious cow who wanted to know why some people came in pretty clothes just to stand around a tree. It looks like trying to avoid stepping in cow patties and trying not to ruin your dress, after being so careful all day not to get sugar or blood on it.

It looks like: The individual cake jars that you had made up as name-place holders. The idea that you came up with that was probably a sub-conscious 'F-U' to diabetes on your wedding day. The super-sweet cake that you ate at 1am on your wedding night as you battled a low of 2.1. 

It looks like: Hours and hours of hard-work. That nobody realises you've done. But you can see that it paid off, so you're happy. And yes, these are THE hand-made table number gold-books that I might have mentioned once, twice or 30 billion times because they took so long to make.

It looks like: Lifelong friendships. You go to your diabesties wedding and they come to yours.

It looks like: Perfect happiness. Love. Your husband telling you that diabetes makes him love you more, not less.

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Today's Reason Why I'm Hypo:

I'm not. I'm kicking Morty's butt today!

Tuesday Tales

Being married comes with its benefits. Most notably that I am no longer planning a wedding and I have this thing called free time. It's amazing. If you don't do free time already, you should try it. So with my free time I have finally started writing a series that I have wanted to write for ages. It's probably not all that great, but it's in my head and I want it out of my head. So here you go. I'll be updating every Tuesday. And yes, it's about zombies. 

Today's Reason Why I'm Hypo: I did extremely light exercise yesterday. So Diabetes decided that 6am is a great wake-up time.

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Concrete, metal and glass. A man-made jungle of blocks rose before me, unseen in the dark night sky.  I remembered the nights when it never really was night.  When each building became a beacon of light rising into the sky. When a warm glow filled the air overhead, as a chatter of voices and collection of noises carried below. Now it was dark. It was still. Quiet. Man-made light no longer stood as testament to the lives that created it and used it. All that was left to show that we had once lived our lives here were the empty rectangles, jutting against the moonlight.

*******

I stepped quietly and hesitantly from the tree cover. My sight set on the dark shed of house number 11 on my list. It was a still night, which was a good night. I could never scavenge on a windy night. The tree cover rocked too much, hiding any dangers that might disturb them and give me the warning signs I had learnt to look for.  I had a 20 meter dash ahead of me, through long grass that whipped about my ankles. I moved as quickly as I could without creating too much of a disturbance.

One foot quietly in front of the other.  Remembering the rule never to pause until I was back under cover. Life had lots of little rules like that now. Rules that kept me alive. I trusted them more than I would have trusted the old laws of civilization.

I reached the middle of the wooden structure, twisting quickly to put my back against the windowless panels. My eyes darting and scanning quickly the area I had just run through to make sure I hadn't attracted any unwanted attention. The grass was still. The air was still. The only movement now came from within me, as I exhaled the breath that I permanently held these days. 

I took a moment to concentrate on myself. On the way my skin felt. Not clammy. Not sweaty, or hot or cold. I concentrated on whether or not I could concentrate. Once I assured myself I was fine I quietly sidled around the corner to make my way toward the main building. I jiggled the knob of the back door. It didn't budge. The house could be what I called 'intact'. Which was both a good, yet dangerous thing. An intact house was a house that hadn't been looted yet, where I might find supplies. From previous experience I also knew that intact houses might be fully intact, complete with original occupants. Whether they were alive or dead was a different issue.

I inserted my tension wrench into the lock, applying torque to the cylinder.  I selected a pick from the set I had with me and inserted it into the lock. A few jiggles later and I felt the lock open up.

I always got nervous before I entered a house. It was never just a house. It was cover from the cold night air. It was a silencer from the howls outside. Maybe it was finding some sheets in the cupboard that hadn't been slept in for 100 nights straight. There was no washing anymore so sheets that didn't smell were almost as good as Christmas. Better even, because Christmas doesn't exist anymore.

And the houses that I went into? They were even better because there might be life inside. Small glass vials of expired life. 

Diabetes Blog Week Day 7 - Continuing Connections

The very first inspiration for Diabetes Blog Week was to help connect our blogging community, and that continues to be the most important reason it's held every year.  So let's help foster and continue those connections as we wrap up another Dblog Week.  Share a link to a new blog you've found or a new friend you've made.  Or pick a random blog off of the Participant's List, check it out and share it with us.  Let's take some time today to make new friends.

I missed the one yesterday where we talked about our favourite posts on our blogs. But thats ok because I find that sort of awkward and weird. I am typically over-confident and sarcastic. Probably to a fault. It seems one of the only times I am not over-confident is in my own writing ability. So we're just going to ignore the part where I'm supposed to plug my own posts.

We'll jump right into TODAY. Sunday. And plug other people's blogs and posts instead because that actually sounds awesome and fun and I loved reading them, so you should too.

First of all, a massive Hagrid-sized thank you to Karen at Bittersweet for running blog week for us again :) It's something we all enjoy & I love getting to find & read the new blogs.



Bec, of Sweet & Sour. I always love reading her stuff. I also just learnt that she also has a little bit of the bogan raging inside of her, so Aussie pride....with a side of Harry Potter.


Heather at Random! had some great blogs & opened my eyes up to travelling a bit more with diabetes. Something I'm keen on but pretty nervous about.

Bustin' for Justin had a great personification of diabetes - as a poop head evil jerk! I could not get over this one. Plus you have to see Justin's best ever drawing of diabetes.

Kelley talked very candidly about why we may keep things off the interwebs in her Keep it To Yourself post & the effect that comments can have on our posts. It actually made me stop and think before posting a reply to a blog that I read and absolutely disagreed with - and stopped me posting the comment even when I thought it was necessary. So props to Kelley, teaching me life lessons.


The cinnamon cure post on Very Light, No Sugar was witty and oh-so-true!

And last but not least, Bigfoot Child Have Diabetes' post on Change hit me right in the feels and made me remember the horrible way I felt before diagnosis.




That's a wrap! (look at me, using film school student language. I guess my degree was useful after all).

Blog Week Day 5 - Foods on Friday

Taking a cue from Adam Brown's recent post, write a post documenting what you eat in a day!  Feel free to add links to recommended recipes/shops/whatever.  Make it an ideal day or a come-as-you-are day – no judgments either way.

First up, I missed yesterday. I know. I was horribly horribly sick with the flu. I think the topic was something about change for yesterday. So if I could change anything about my diabetes it would be that I don't have to deal with it while I've got a flu. Diabetes should come with a pause button when you're dealing with stuff like that.

Moving on. Food. I didn't eat any today, so I can't really tell you about it. The thought of it made me feel nauseous.

I did however find my most recent shopping docket. It said I paid less than $90 for a fortnight's worth of food shopping, so you can already tell I'm cheap and stingy and I definitely buy homebrand.

• 1kg bag of carrots. 99c. They're the mong looking ones nobody actually wants so they sell them heaps cheap. I use carrots in EVERYTHING.
• Bag of Spinach. Again....SPINACH for everything
• A lettuce
• A can of beetroot. I come from bogan australian heritage (and somehow managed to escape it), so beetroot belongs in everything.
• I managed to get a box of Special K on sale. That's breakfast for 2 weeks. It has pretty good protein levels so I always grab a few packs when its on sale. If its not on sale I like to eat cardboard Homebrand Cornflakes for breakfast.
• Bought a roast chicken for half price at $5. Made 3 days worth of gnocchi chicken bake out of it and still had enough left over for Hubby & my lunch the next day.                                   

• A head of brocolli
• Went to the fruit & veg store & get tomatoes for $2 a kilo. Throw them in everything that gets cooked. I am fussy though and refuse to eat them raw. 
• A cucumber. Om nom nom. I have a habit of just garnishing everything with cucumber. 
• 3L of full cream milk. For cereal & Sustagen milkshakes. Sustagen is my go-to when I want dessert but know I shouldn't really have dessert
• LOTS AND LOTS OF POPPERS!! For lows. (Popper are juiceboxes for those of you reading from America)
• Some oaty slice bars (good for protein). They weren't on special so we got 1 box. If they're on special we get 2. If you havent tried oaty slice bars you haven't lived. They're like a cake mixed with a biscuit but in the form of an oat-rich muesli bar. They use real chocolate in the chocolate chip bars. Its amazing in my mouth.
• A 2kg bag of chickpeas for roasting from the Asian Food Market (FYI - cheapest place to get them is in bulk at asian grocery stores - about half the price of a supermarket). We roasted up 200gm with moroccan spices the other day & this week we will oven-roast another lot with salt and vinegar flavouring - great healthy snack if you're craving chips.
• A loaf of bread for sandwhiches
• Ham for ham and salad sandwiches
• A block of Light tasty cheese
• A block of Colby cheese (much better for melting)
• Some wraps
• Home brand toilet paper
• Mince (bulk & freeze in small bags)
• Lasagne sheets. Not the expensive stuff from the fresh section. Just get the dry homebrand stuff, if you pre-soak it as you're cooking it tastes a whole lot better than the fresh stuff, and you can store it for much longer
• Spaghetti
• Basmati rice. Probably one of the only non-homebrand things I buy, because homebrand always seems to come with weavels :S
• Apples. Red delicious were cheapest this time
• Half a pine-apple for $1.49. To have with yoghurt.
• Grapes!
• Mandarins. 
• Yoghurt. Whatever brand it is that hubby likes - Chobani? I like the 5am brand honey & cinnamon flavour but it can be very expensive.
• Sausages! The bulk pack is cheapest and we just freeze them and live off them for months 
• Couscous. A super cheap side for anything really. Mix in Sundried tomato, beetroot, spinach & fetta and you have a super delicious side for sausages or steak, etc.

Some more stuff that was boring & householdy.

We did already have a lot of meat in freeze, like chicken that we'd previously got on sale. And the time before when we went shopping tomato paste was on special so I bought 50 billion jars of that.

We try to do healthy stuff but honestly....cake exists in the world. 

Diabetes Blog Week Day 3 - Cleanin' Out My Closet

Yesterday we kept stuff in, so today let's clear stuff out.  What is in your diabetic closet that needs to be cleaned out?  This can be an actual physical belonging, or it can be something you're mentally or emotionally hanging on to.  Why are you keeping it and why do you need to get rid of it?

I don't think I ever quite forgave my pancreas for leaving me. For packing its bags and stealth-sneaking away in the middle of the night. No note. No goodbye kiss. It left. Just like that. I had a working pancreas, then I didn't. I should've microchipped the damn thing. Maybe in 10 years time I would get a call to say it had done an 'Incredible journey' Chance, Sassy & Shadow style and found its way home.

I just kind of shoved those feelings of abandonment deep into my closet, like so many pairs of shoes I didn't want my husband to know I bought. 

So maybe it’s time I light up the funeral pyre and let it go. But with much less singing. I don't actually like Frozen and I find it repugnant (New favourite word) that I know what that song even is. 

I’ll pick a funeral home. Write my Eulogy. Eulogy to a dead pancreas.

“Today we mourn my dear, beloved, dead pancreas. He was a good pancreas, a hard working pancreas, who was taken at the prime of his life, at the tender age of 22. I close my eyes and imagine that he was needed for a higher purpose. I imagine he fulfilled his purpose here in this life, and got be reincarnated as a higher life form. Maybe a heart.   Perhaps, in another life, I will see him again.

I am greatful for every moment we got to spend together. We ate a lot of cake together. It was his favourite food. Indulged in chocolate. Sometimes we even ate potato together. Mostly I miss the way he would let me eat popcorn. I miss eating popcorn with my pancreas. 

We took holidays together. He never brought a ticket, I would just smuggle him through the airport security in my stomach. 

When someone you love passes away, there is a strong temptation to remember them perhaps a little too well. Misdeeds are forgotten. Offenses are forgiven. Only the most shining characteristics of our loved ones make it into the version of them that we keep with us when they depart. My pancreas’ only fault was in leaving me behind, to toil without it.” 

At this point I’ll probably start wailing hysterically and beat upon the tiny tiny coffin I will buy for it. By coffin I mean shoe box. It costs a lot of money to take over your own pancreatic duties, I can't afford a coffin.

I suppose there will be a wake. People will bring me cards and flowers and cry. I have already cried hysterically and mourned, so I will probably just walk around, happy as larry, trying to find the cake people bring you when you’re upset. For now, seeing as I am pretending to bury my pancreas today, I will just eat my leftover wedding cake. I bet my pancreas regrets leaving me now. My wedding cake is delicious (White chocolate and honeycomb with apricot buttercream, anyone? I can see you salivating).

Farewell, Sweet Pancreas, Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Diabetes Blog Week Day 2 - Wildcard - Diabetes Personified

If you could personify your diabetes or that of your loved one, what would it be like?  What would it look like, what would it say, what kind of personality would it have?  Use your imagination and feel free to use images, drawings, words, music, etc. to describe it.

I don't know if I have ever properly introduced my diabetes to you. If everyone could please welcome Morty. By please welcome, I mean make sure you pay him heaps of attention because he gets cranky if you ignore him. 

Why Morty? Basically my diabetes is Voldemort. Aged 3. Just to creep you out, someone actually imagined Morty as a toddler already. I did warn you, so don't come to me with your nightmares.

Morty likes his nap-time. He has a favourite song. Low,by Flo-Rida. 

My diabetes is a bit needy. He requires attention all the time. And constant care-taking. I'm pretty sure I was making my own bed at 3, but he still requires me to do absolutely everything for him. "Give me insulin, give me food, It's 3am and I'm supposed to be asleep but FEED ME NOW, take me for a walk". You can't mistake that whiny voice. He's a bit spoilt. 

He's also got a bit of a mean streak. Got a little bit of that psychopath vibe going on. I can't turn my back on him, because he might try to kill me. It's a little unnerving really. If I could leave him in a dumpster I would. 

But he also has a softer, giving side. He has some great life-coaching skills. And he's a bit of a social butterfly. 

World, meet Morty. Morty, play nice with the world.

Diabetes Blog Week Day 1 - Can

In the UK, there was a diabetes blog theme of "I can...”  that participants found wonderfully empowering.  So lets kick things off this year by looking at the positive side of our lives with diabetes.  What have you or your loved one accomplished, despite having diabetes, that you weren't sure you could?  Or what have you done that you've been particularly proud of?  Or what good thing has diabetes brought into your life?

As soon as I read this topic my mind immediately flashed to the story of the little engine who could. I've had that little train running through my head thinking he can for about half and hour now, and I kind of wish he 'could' in someone else's mind. I'm seriously nearly reverting to watching that horrible 'Cat Dance' youtube clip. (If youdon't know what I'm talking about and want a dancing cat in yourbrain for the next 3872 days, go ahead and click).

I know there's plenty of things that 'I can' with diabetes. Most recently someone my amazing husband agreed to marry me. I got through the entire ceremony and reception without a hypo. I didn't think I could do that, but I did.

But I want to focus on something 'I can' in the future. Because all the stuff in my past, is already stuff that I could.

One of the big things I want to do with my life is go swimming with sharks. With the teeth and the sharp and the evil little eyes. I must do this, so I've decided I can do this. I don't know how it works with Diabetes, but I'll figure out a way. And since my wedding is over now, I actually have free time with which to research this sort of stuff. Oh, Free time, how I have missed you (Side note to anyone getting married: If you think you want a DIY wedding, make sure you don't also want a life).

Back to the shark diving. Definitely something I can do. I'd be interested to see what the depth is on the new 640G and how far underwater the CGM works. I'd guess just out of the range I want as I'd be more inclined to do a shark dive in an aquarium – where there's nothing separating you from the sharks, rather than a cage dive. My goal is to do both.

One day I hope to be doing a post on how to shark dive with T1D. And hopefully that one day is soon.