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Tuesday, 1 January 2013

An Appropriate End

I guess it seems appropriate that my honeymoon phase would seem to end as New Year approaches. Or if it's not ending, my diabetes has thrown one last 2012 curveball at me. Either way, the result is needing more insulin, and being completely stuck about it. Yes, it chose the holiday period, when my educator and endo are closed. I think it must be testing me 1 more time to see how I could handle it. So here's how I handled it as the days went by:

- 1st few days - Frowned slightly and thought BGL machine must be off. Blamed no exercise but not my eating because I'm actually alright with my diet and have been losing weight through diet alone.
- End of 1 st week - Head in sand. Blamed Christmas. Even though I ate heaps good during Christmas and was very active.
 - Week 2 - Do about 1/2 my normal BG checks. After all everyone knows that if you can't see a bad BG, it doesn't exist.
 - Mid Week 2 - Sick of constant headaches. Up my meal time insulin. No Change. Turn into sulky cow.n
 - Now - Have massive tantrum. Exercise like crazy with my pump on. BG goes super high after exercise, but not a hypo rebound. Throw another tantrum. Get on Facebook and see a post on Zayla's page. Realise I CAN still walk, I CAN still see, I DON'T have any complications yet (apart from High Blood Pressure but we'll get to that later) so I CAN do something about my diabetes misbehaving. 
 - Last 1/2 an hour - Restarted a BGL diary including all exercise, food consumed listed, blood pressure readings, anything that might have an impact on my D. Didn't change any insulin rates but we'll see what my diary shows up and work from there.

So I think I did alright, and it will get better. I think its ok to ignore it for a little while, that's all part of the process of accepting it and learning to do something about it. 

And I think 2013 will be a better year. After all, in 2012 I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. 2012 consisted of me learning how to stab  needles into my stomach several times a day, force  blood from my finger tips until they ached every 3 hours or so, learn to change and insert my own cannulae sets, get regular blood tests, go high, go low and everything in between. I was told I had my 1st complication  - high blood pressure. They started me on tablets. I refused to take them. Instead I changed my diet (not tremendously but enough) and exercised (more). Now I'm regularly sitting at 120 - 130/70 - 75 instead of 135 - 160/80 - 110.

I of course have made some D goals for 2013 - maintain good control and even though it seems my honeymoon is ending, try to minimise insulin usage by keeping my body as insulin sensitive as possible. I'm going to get CGM. Even though it means another device attached all the time and moolahs. 
But in 2013 I am also going to make it a goal to LIVE more. Diabetes swallowed 2012 whole for me and I didn't let myself have a break from being the best D I could. So I'm going to relax (hence the CGM - less worry! I can see what's happening). In 2013 I'm going to TAKE UP drinking. I know that everyone else says they will stop. But I never drink!! And I want to! I know I won't go crazy, so I will happily let myself venture out from my own self-made shell and EXPERIENCE life. See more, do more! Blow all my money (my parents will be so upset...I was always the 'smart and sensible' one) and buy expensive clothes that I'll only wear once.


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