Search This Blog

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Tuesday Tales

Being married comes with its benefits. Most notably that I am no longer planning a wedding and I have this thing called free time. It's amazing. If you don't do free time already, you should try it. So with my free time I have finally started writing a series that I have wanted to write for ages. It's probably not all that great, but it's in my head and I want it out of my head. So here you go. I'll be updating every Tuesday. And yes, it's about zombies. 

Today's Reason Why I'm Hypo: I did extremely light exercise yesterday. So Diabetes decided that 6am is a great wake-up time.


Concrete, metal and glass. A man-made jungle of blocks rose before me, unseen in the dark night sky.  I remembered the nights when it never really was night.  When each building became a beacon of light rising into the sky. When a warm glow filled the air overhead, as a chatter of voices and collection of noises carried below. Now it was dark. It was still. Quiet. Man-made light no longer stood as testament to the lives that created it and used it. All that was left to show that we had once lived our lives here were the empty rectangles, jutting against the moonlight.


I stepped quietly and hesitantly from the tree cover. My sight set on the dark shed of house number 11 on my list. It was a still night, which was a good night. I could never scavenge on a windy night. The tree cover rocked too much, hiding any dangers that might disturb them and give me the warning signs I had learnt to look for.  I had a 20 meter dash ahead of me, through long grass that whipped about my ankles. I moved as quickly as I could without creating too much of a disturbance.

One foot quietly in front of the other.  Remembering the rule never to pause until I was back under cover. Life had lots of little rules like that now. Rules that kept me alive. I trusted them more than I would have trusted the old laws of civilization.

I reached the middle of the wooden structure, twisting quickly to put my back against the windowless panels. My eyes darting and scanning quickly the area I had just run through to make sure I hadn't attracted any unwanted attention. The grass was still. The air was still. The only movement now came from within me, as I exhaled the breath that I permanently held these days. 

I took a moment to concentrate on myself. On the way my skin felt. Not clammy. Not sweaty, or hot or cold. I concentrated on whether or not I could concentrate. Once I assured myself I was fine I quietly sidled around the corner to make my way toward the main building. I jiggled the knob of the back door. It didn't budge. The house could be what I called 'intact'. Which was both a good, yet dangerous thing. An intact house was a house that hadn't been looted yet, where I might find supplies. From previous experience I also knew that intact houses might be fully intact, complete with original occupants. Whether they were alive or dead was a different issue.

I inserted my tension wrench into the lock, applying torque to the cylinder.  I selected a pick from the set I had with me and inserted it into the lock. A few jiggles later and I felt the lock open up.

I always got nervous before I entered a house. It was never just a house. It was cover from the cold night air. It was a silencer from the howls outside. Maybe it was finding some sheets in the cupboard that hadn't been slept in for 100 nights straight. There was no washing anymore so sheets that didn't smell were almost as good as Christmas. Better even, because Christmas doesn't exist anymore.

And the houses that I went into? They were even better because there might be life inside. Small glass vials of expired life. 

Sunday, 17 May 2015

Diabetes Blog Week Day 7 - Continuing Connections

The very first inspiration for Diabetes Blog Week was to help connect our blogging community, and that continues to be the most important reason it's held every year.  So let's help foster and continue those connections as we wrap up another Dblog Week.  Share a link to a new blog you've found or a new friend you've made.  Or pick a random blog off of the Participant's List, check it out and share it with us.  Let's take some time today to make new friends.

I missed the one yesterday where we talked about our favourite posts on our blogs. But thats ok because I find that sort of awkward and weird. I am typically over-confident and sarcastic. Probably to a fault. It seems one of the only times I am not over-confident is in my own writing ability. So we're just going to ignore the part where I'm supposed to plug my own posts.

We'll jump right into TODAY. Sunday. And plug other people's blogs and posts instead because that actually sounds awesome and fun and I loved reading them, so you should too.

First of all, a massive Hagrid-sized thank you to Karen at Bittersweet for running blog week for us again :) It's something we all enjoy & I love getting to find & read the new blogs.

Bec, of Sweet & Sour. I always love reading her stuff. I also just learnt that she also has a little bit of the bogan raging inside of her, so Aussie pride....with a side of Harry Potter.

Heather at Random! had some great blogs & opened my eyes up to travelling a bit more with diabetes. Something I'm keen on but pretty nervous about.

Bustin' for Justin had a great personification of diabetes - as a poop head evil jerk! I could not get over this one. Plus you have to see Justin's best ever drawing of diabetes.

Kelley talked very candidly about why we may keep things off the interwebs in her Keep it To Yourself post & the effect that comments can have on our posts. It actually made me stop and think before posting a reply to a blog that I read and absolutely disagreed with - and stopped me posting the comment even when I thought it was necessary. So props to Kelley, teaching me life lessons.

The cinnamon cure post on Very Light, No Sugar was witty and oh-so-true!

And last but not least, Bigfoot Child Have Diabetes' post on Change hit me right in the feels and made me remember the horrible way I felt before diagnosis.

That's a wrap! (look at me, using film school student language. I guess my degree was useful after all).

Saturday, 16 May 2015

Blog Week Day 5 - Foods on Friday

Taking a cue from Adam Brown's recent post, write a post documenting what you eat in a day!  Feel free to add links to recommended recipes/shops/whatever.  Make it an ideal day or a come-as-you-are day – no judgments either way.

First up, I missed yesterday. I know. I was horribly horribly sick with the flu. I think the topic was something about change for yesterday. So if I could change anything about my diabetes it would be that I don't have to deal with it while I've got a flu. Diabetes should come with a pause button when you're dealing with stuff like that.

Moving on. Food. I didn't eat any today, so I can't really tell you about it. The thought of it made me feel nauseous.

I did however find my most recent shopping docket. It said I paid less than $90 for a fortnight's worth of food shopping, so you can already tell I'm cheap and stingy and I definitely buy homebrand.

  • 1kg bag of carrots. 99c. They're the mong looking ones nobody actually wants so they sell them heaps cheap. I use carrots in EVERYTHING.
  • Bag of Spinach. Again....SPINACH for everything
  • A lettuce
  • A can of beetroot. I come from bogan australian heritage (and somehow managed to escape it), so beetroot belongs in everything.
  • I managed to get a box of Special K on sale. That's breakfast for 2 weeks. It has pretty good protein levels so I always grab a few packs when its on sale. If its not on sale I like to eat cardboard Homebrand Cornflakes for breakfast.
  • Bought a roast chicken for half price at $5. Made 3 days worth of gnocchi chicken bake out of it and still had enough left over for Hubby & my lunch the next day.                                   
  • A head of brocolli
  • Went to the fruit & veg store & get tomatoes for $2 a kilo. Throw them in everything that gets cooked. I am fussy though and refuse to eat them raw. 
  • A cucumber. Om nom nom. I have a habit of just garnishing everything with cucumber. 
  • 3L of full cream milk. For cereal & Sustagen milkshakes. Sustagen is my go-to when I want dessert but know I shouldn't really have dessert
  • LOTS AND LOTS OF POPPERS!! For lows. (Popper are juiceboxes for those of you reading from America)
  • Some oaty slice bars (good for protein). They weren't on special so we got 1 box. If they're on special we get 2. If you havent tried oaty slice bars you haven't lived. They're like a cake mixed with a biscuit but in the form of an oat-rich muesli bar. They use real chocolate in the chocolate chip bars. Its amazing in my mouth.
  • A 2kg bag of chickpeas for roasting from the Asian Food Market (FYI - cheapest place to get them is in bulk at asian grocery stores - about half the price of a supermarket). We roasted up 200gm with moroccan spices the other day & this week we will oven-roast another lot with salt and vinegar flavouring - great healthy snack if you're craving chips.
  • A loaf of bread for sandwhiches
  • Ham for ham and salad sandwiches
  • A block of Light tasty cheese
  • A block of Colby cheese (much better for melting)
  • Some wraps
  • Home brand toilet paper
  • Mince (bulk & freeze in small bags)
  • Lasagne sheets. Not the expensive stuff from the fresh section. Just get the dry homebrand stuff, if you pre-soak it as you're cooking it tastes a whole lot better than the fresh stuff, and you can store it for much longer
  • Spaghetti
  • Basmati rice. Probably one of the only non-homebrand things I buy, because homebrand always seems to come with weavels :S
  • Apples. Red delicious were cheapest this time
  • Half a pine-apple for $1.49. To have with yoghurt.
  • Grapes!
  • Mandarins. 
  • Yoghurt. Whatever brand it is that hubby likes - Chobani? I like the 5am brand honey & cinnamon flavour but it can be very expensive.
  • Sausages! The bulk pack is cheapest and we just freeze them and live off them for months 
  • Couscous. A super cheap side for anything really. Mix in Sundried tomato, beetroot, spinach & fetta and you have a super delicious side for sausages or steak, etc.
Some more stuff that was boring & householdy.

We did already have a lot of meat in freeze, like chicken that we'd previously got on sale. And the time before when we went shopping tomato paste was on special so I bought 50 billion jars of that.

We try to do healthy stuff but honestly....cake exists in the world. 

Thursday, 14 May 2015

Diabetes Blog Week Day 3 - Cleanin' Out My Closet

Yesterday we kept stuff in, so today let's clear stuff out.  What is in your diabetic closet that needs to be cleaned out?  This can be an actual physical belonging, or it can be something you're mentally or emotionally hanging on to.  Why are you keeping it and why do you need to get rid of it?

I don't think I ever quite forgave my pancreas for leaving me. For packing its bags and stealth-sneaking away in the middle of the night. No note. No goodbye kiss. It left. Just like that. I had a working pancreas, then I didn't. I should've microchipped the damn thing. Maybe in 10 years time I would get a call to say it had done an 'Incredible journey' Chance, Sassy & Shadow style and found its way home.

I just kind of shoved those feelings of abandonment deep into my closet, like so many pairs of shoes I didn't want my husband to know I bought. 

So maybe it’s time I light up the funeral pyre and let it go. But with much less singing. I don't actually like Frozen and I find it repugnant (New favourite word) that I know what that song even is. 

I’ll pick a funeral home. Write my Eulogy. Eulogy to a dead pancreas.

“Today we mourn my dear, beloved, dead pancreas. He was a good pancreas, a hard working pancreas, who was taken at the prime of his life, at the tender age of 22. I close my eyes and imagine that he was needed for a higher purpose. I imagine he fulfilled his purpose here in this life, and got be reincarnated as a higher life form. Maybe a heart.   Perhaps, in another life, I will see him again.
I am greatful for every moment we got to spend together. We ate a lot of cake together. It was his favourite food. Indulged in chocolate. Sometimes we even ate potato together. Mostly I miss the way he would let me eat popcorn. I miss eating popcorn with my pancreas. 
We took holidays together. He never brought a ticket, I would just smuggle him through the airport security in my stomach. 
When someone you love passes away, there is a strong temptation to remember them perhaps a little too well. Misdeeds are forgotten. Offenses are forgiven. Only the most shining characteristics of our loved ones make it into the version of them that we keep with us when they depart. My pancreas’ only fault was in leaving me behind, to toil without it.” 

At this point I’ll probably start wailing hysterically and beat upon the tiny tiny coffin I will buy for it. By coffin I mean shoe box. It costs a lot of money to take over your own pancreatic duties, I can't afford a coffin.

I suppose there will be a wake. People will bring me cards and flowers and cry. I have already cried hysterically and mourned, so I will probably just walk around, happy as larry, trying to find the cake people bring you when you’re upset. For now, seeing as I am pretending to bury my pancreas today, I will just eat my leftover wedding cake. I bet my pancreas regrets leaving me now. My wedding cake is delicious (White chocolate and honeycomb with apricot buttercream, anyone? I can see you salivating).

Farewell, Sweet Pancreas, Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Wednesday, 13 May 2015

Diabetes Blog Week Day 2 - Wildcard - Diabetes Personified

If you could personify your diabetes or that of your loved one, what would it be like?  What would it look like, what would it say, what kind of personality would it have?  Use your imagination and feel free to use images, drawings, words, music, etc. to describe it.

I don't know if I have ever properly introduced my diabetes to you. If everyone could please welcome Morty. By please welcome, I mean make sure you pay him heaps of attention because he gets cranky if you ignore him. 

Why Morty? Basically my diabetes is Voldemort. Aged 3. Just to creep you out, someone actually imagined Morty as a toddler already. I did warn you, so don't come to me with your nightmares.

Morty likes his nap-time. He has a favourite song. Low,by Flo-Rida. 

My diabetes is a bit needy. He requires attention all the time. And constant care-taking. I'm pretty sure I was making my own bed at 3, but he still requires me to do absolutely everything for him. "Give me insulin, give me food, It's 3am and I'm supposed to be asleep but FEED ME NOW, take me for a walk". You can't mistake that whiny voice. He's a bit spoilt. 

He's also got a bit of a mean streak. Got a little bit of that psychopath vibe going on. I can't turn my back on him, because he might try to kill me. It's a little unnerving really. If I could leave him in a dumpster I would. 

But he also has a softer, giving side. He has some great life-coaching skills. And he's a bit of a social butterfly. 

World, meet Morty. Morty, play nice with the world.

Monday, 11 May 2015

Diabetes Blog Week Day 1 - Can

In the UK, there was a diabetes blog theme of "I can...”  that participants found wonderfully empowering.  So lets kick things off this year by looking at the positive side of our lives with diabetes.  What have you or your loved one accomplished, despite having diabetes, that you weren't sure you could?  Or what have you done that you've been particularly proud of?  Or what good thing has diabetes brought into your life?

As soon as I read this topic my mind immediately flashed to the story of the little engine who could. I've had that little train running through my head thinking he can for about half and hour now, and I kind of wish he 'could' in someone else's mind. I'm seriously nearly reverting to watching that horrible 'Cat Dance' youtube clip. (If youdon't know what I'm talking about and want a dancing cat in yourbrain for the next 3872 days, go ahead and click).

I know there's plenty of things that 'I can' with diabetes. Most recently someone my amazing husband agreed to marry me. I got through the entire ceremony and reception without a hypo. I didn't think I could do that, but I did.

But I want to focus on something 'I can' in the future. Because all the stuff in my past, is already stuff that I could.

One of the big things I want to do with my life is go swimming with sharks. With the teeth and the sharp and the evil little eyes. I must do this, so I've decided I can do this. I don't know how it works with Diabetes, but I'll figure out a way. And since my wedding is over now, I actually have free time with which to research this sort of stuff. Oh, Free time, how I have missed you (Side note to anyone getting married: If you think you want a DIY wedding, make sure you don't also want a life).

Back to the shark diving. Definitely something I can do. I'd be interested to see what the depth is on the new 640G and how far underwater the CGM works. I'd guess just out of the range I want as I'd be more inclined to do a shark dive in an aquarium – where there's nothing separating you from the sharks, rather than a cage dive. My goal is to do both.

One day I hope to be doing a post on how to shark dive with T1D. And hopefully that one day is soon.