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Monday, 27 April 2015

How being Ugly and a Pizza caused my Type 1 Diabetes

I like movies alot. So much so that I did a degree in making movies. As it turns out I just like watching them, not making them.

I think I watched 3 movies in the cinema this week. It may be because I like movies. It may also be because I am doing whatever I can to avoid having to write my vows. I know, I know, I'm so good with words, why would that be hard? It is. I am a very sarcastic person normally. You might have noticed in previous posts. So the challenge for me is to not make a joke of my vows and actually act serious.

I'm getting off track. I watched 3 movies last week. Cinderella. Avengers. And The Duff.

If you believe the duff, you can get pizza-induced diabetes. I think I should have been cranky about the ridiculous joke, but it was so absurd, I actually laughed at someone making fun of diabetes.

So naturally, I have compiled a list of reasons, according the media/your grandmother/T.V and even the waving cat on my desk, that I have diabetes:

1. Pizza. As given to us by the Duff. At least getting diabetes will be delicious.
2. If you believe the new Priceline Advertisement currently playing on TV, Beauty and Health go hand in hand, and you can't have one without the other. Yes, they actually say that. So there you go, I just have diabetes because I'm ugly. But I'm sure once I cake myself thick enough in beauty products my pesky little diabetes problem will go away. So there's hope.
3. My parents clearly just fed me sugar all the live-long-day when I was a kid. Vegetables? Never touched the stuff. Actually, this isn't far from the truth. Just replace every food you can think of with chicken nuggets and you have my childhood diet. Not because my parents were bad parents, but because I was the worlds fussiest child. And I would actually let myself be starving rather than eat something I didn't like. And all I liked were chicken nuggets.
4. I was born with it. Its like a birth defect or something. That they just didn't notice it for 22 years. Surprisingly, this is a very common misconception about how I came to have T1D, I guess because people learn there is a small genetic component in some cases.
5. I just need to run around more. If I wasn't so lazy, I wouldn't have diabetes. Well, I got it now, so I may as well just go lay on the couch forever. And ever. And ever. I'm just assuming my body is psychic and can tell that I will be less active in the future, and thats why I got diabetes back when I was running an hour every day.
6. I looked at a cupcake once. Instant pancreas shut down. Those sugar-laden cakes of yumminess should probably be subject to legislation about packing and contain health warnings. They should also be kept behind the counter with the cigarettes and sold to people over the age of 18 only and not to be consumed within 10m of a child. Think about the poor, diabetic children!

Any readers got any absurd reasons for why you have diabetes?


Last Night's Reason Why I'm Hypo:

I went shopping yesterday for last minute wedding stuff. Why would it not have a carry-on effect through until 4am?

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