Whenever Blog week rolls around, there always seems to be a topic on fantasy diabetes devices. I usually ignore that topic and run off to find a suitable wild card topic. There's never been anything that I needed a diabetes device to do that we don't have already. I mean, an app on your phone where you take a picture of your food and it tells you how much carbs are on your plate would be cool, but I don't really need it. I've got chocolate all figured out already, so really, I'm good here carb-counting my own meals.
But now I've thought of something. Guys - it's going to get a little girly in a second, so if that isn't your cup of tea - kindly click away to another, less feminine, post.
One of the awful truths about being female is that whether you want her to or not, your Aunty Flo wants to drop in every month or so for some female bonding time. You learn to live with it. My problem is that my diabetes loves Aunty Flo. He's always acting out whenever she comes to stay, trying to get her to notice him. But then the diabetes tantrums start once she leaves and he realises he's been left all alone again.
Its only a recent problem. Despite sulking objections from all my HCP's, a few months ago I quit taking the birth control pill after deciding I couldn't live with the side effects anymore. Best decision ever! Unless you talk to my HCPs who weren't too happy with the decision. Sadly for them, I don't care to listen to their opinions on the matter at all and am rudely ignoring their pleas to think about the possible unplanned children. I don't really plan on having any unplanned children, so I don't know what they're worried about really.
Since ditching the pill I have no idea what diabetes wants anymore. I know that I have a pattern that follows my menstrual cycle but by the time I can be bothered to change onto another pattern in my pump I've moved on from the low stage to the high stage.
So basically, what needs to happen is that someone needs to add a new kind of pattern to the pump that follows a set cycle of time before it loops back. Currently I have 3 different patterns set into my pump - 'nomal', 'A' & 'B' - normal for when my BGLs are behaving, A for luteal and B for follicular phases of my cycle. I'm ridiculously lazy and would rather spend a week hypoing a minimum of 5 times a day than simply switch my pump to my A or B pattern. And I won't even consider setting a temp basal every day. Its just more to think about.
My fantasy diabetes device is a pump, that upon set-up, asks if you're a female or male. You can select female and set a basal cycle length - i.e. 28 days. You can then set patterns inside a pattern - so tell it to have one pattern for say 5 days, before automatically switching to the next pattern, which may deliver less or more insulin, and so on and so forth, to follow your cycle.
Does anyone realise how much easier this will make my life? Why is this not a thing yet? Medtronic, are you listening?